I can't unwind.
Can't fall asleep.
Listening to the light snores beside me-violence brews.
I get up instead.
The house gets one last straightening, the kitchen another wipe down.
It's midnight or later and sleep just will not come.
I flip channels.
I surf the web.
I go back to bed.
Lay for what seems like hours yet is probably only minutes.
Finally drift off.
A strange dream, and slowly waking to strange thoughts.
It's still dark.
I look at the clock.
I just want to sleep.
I lay there.
Too early to get up.
Too late to fall asleep again.
Drifting in that no mans land where monsters and angels dwell.
Light begins to sift through curtains.
Chasing away half dreamt lands.
I am up.
Bleary eyed good morning.
Must wait for it.
B out the door.
Coffee cradled in my hands.
Hot and black.
The rest of the house sleeps on.
I savor it, this time of peace.
Is that the answer?
Do I need to experience the stillness?
And so wake while others dream?
I would like to report that due to 2 glasses of wine, a sufficient amount of reading, and some time alone(I locked myself in the bedroom-don't worry the big girl was on duty) I actually did manage to get relaxed enough to fall asleep and most importantly stay that way for 7 hours. That means I am currently behind on only about 12 hrs from the strange and sleepless week I have left behind.
I will work on cultivating moments of stillness throughout my day, find the quiet in myself.
And sleep, I hope.