The Camo Cat-unretouched in case you're wondering.

My writer self has wandered and I was, you know, just wondering if any of you have seen her? If you do see her, send her back my way please. I kind of miss her and her words that captured my heart and soul and imagination in a way that I could share and through that feel connected to a world larger than the one inside my bed, my room, my house, my head.

"You only live once you know." said MIL

"I know, you might as well have fun, there aren't any do-overs." says I.

Big Daddy D pipes in, "I don't know, sometimes you get a phone number."

Speaking of...

It may be time to get Blue a blow up cat. Or take him in for a little operation. Blue is getting to that age where Mom's don't ask what their little boy is doing all that time in the shower.

Don't ask.

Oh wait, it's TMI Thursday so I'll tell you anyway.

I'm laying in bed minding my own business when Blue leaps up beside me for a cuddle/purr session. I'm petting his fuzzy ears when he squirms away and tackles my forearm. He grabs my wrist and licks/nibbles the back of my hand, straddles my arm and paddles his back feet and I'm going "HOLY SHIT! This cat is masturbating on my fucking arm!"

Which he was.

SNIP SNIP.

Conversations

I wanna go to KMart!

Why do you want to go to Kmart?

I wanna go to KMart!

Why do you want to go to Kmart?

I wanna buy sumfin.

Do you have money, REAL money?

Yes.

You do? Real money to buy something?

Yes.

Where is your real money?

In Daddy's pocket.

(The car rocks with laughter as Daddy says "Funny, Mommy says the same thing")

So what would you like to watch for your night night movie?

Mommy.

No, something else.

Ok.

What would you like to watch for your night night movie?

God.

Alright, "Prince of Egypt" it is.

(She thinks I'm more fun than God-isn't that sweet?)

(WAIT! Maybe she meant I was more boring than God...Oh well! =)

Just a quick "Hello!"

(The light at the end of the tunnel)

HI!

How did a week pass without me noticing?

Things are better here. The pain is mostly gone, though the numbness, weakness and a strange feeling like my leg wants to throw up still plague me.

I am on my way to the kitchen to prepare supper.

Just simple spaghetti and meatballs tonight.

Confession: The meatballs are from the freezer section of my grocery store.

Sometimes you just gotta accept a little help-and it's a step up from Big Daddy D's idea of cooking supper...10 burgers from the dollar menu at Sonic!

The sauce is from scratch at least.

Catch ya later taters!

OOOOH OOOOH OOOOH!!!!!! I almost forgot!

I sold a pair of handwarmers!

I didn't ask for enough moolah but heck-I haven't sold anything in months so I'll take it. And then spend it all on the best bowl of udon and tempura I've had to date-which I did!

Okay, now I'm outta here. I can hear tummies rumbling from here.

Sometimes I'm too sensitive, it seems

You know I really just don't feel like writing much today.

I'm concerned about the slow progress of my back/leg situation.

I'm concerned about the financial aspects of that situation as well.

I prefer to not dwell on it too much.

I had a great time during my girl's weekend.

My leg is paying the price but it was so worth it.

I spent my tattoo money to go on the trip, and that was worth it too.

When I mentioned it, I immediately heard "Don't get a tattoo!!!!!! Those things are NASTY!!!!!!!"

It didn't really bother me when it was said on Sunday.

This morning it does.

Why is that?

Fucking judgmental asshat with no clue about what you're saying.

AAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let it go.

I need to go blow dry my hair.

Which is going back to red.

Soon.

Pancakes and Puddings

It is rich and warm
Coating my leg
Pooling at the apple of my calf
Dripping down
Slowly sliding to my heel
This thick syrup of pain

Yeah yeah yeah.
I've been up since 4 with cramps and spasms.

Do you have a surplus of apples? Tart firm baking apples?
Here's a recipe that will take care of one or two and that last egg that looks so lonely in your fridge.

Apple Pudding

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

In a small bowl mix:
1/2 C all purpose flour(I use whole wheat for this)
1 tsp baking powder(NOT baking soda)
1/2 tsp ground cinammon
1/2 tsp kosher salt(just 1/4 tsp if you use table salt!)

In a large bowl mix:
1 large egg
3/4 C sugar

Add dry mixture to wet and stir til blended.

Fold in:
1 1/2 C chopped apple(leave the peel on, okay?)(It's good for you and looks pretty)
1 C chopped nuts-I prefer walnuts though whatever you like will be fine I'm sure.

Spread batter in a well greased 9 in deep dish pie pan.

Bake for 45 minutes.
Serve warm or cool, with ice cream or fresh whipped cream if you're feeling fancy.
No pictures today...I've made this innumerable times and we always eat it it too fast for me to remember the camera.

Maybe next time.

Polishing the Silver

While alarming, discovering that one cannot in fact walk on ones tippy toes by the process of trying and having ones leg virtually disappear from under one and tipping alarmingly close to the floor before catching a wall placed conveniently nearby does in fact have it's lighter moments, as the aforementioned-and true to life-scenario demonstrates.
The seeming loss of ones leg can also come in handy when one is trying to lighten the mood of one's heartsick teenage daughter. Slapstick comedy, even of the involuntary sort, can never be out of place.
Too, the placement of rubber bands stretched in a triangular fashion between ones upper and lower cuspids resulting in slobbery lispy speech of the "thay it don't sthpray it" thort will, one is certain, provide hours of entertainment to the one thus afflicted. One will not mention the ineffective repetitive banging of one's toothbrush against said rubberbands in an hilarious attempt at tooth brushing.
Polishing the silver lining of one's dark cloud does indeed take some doing, but one finds the resulting shine is worth the effort.

FUCKIN' FRIDAY!

It's my fuckin' birthday too. What a sucky way to spend a birthday. In pain, in bed and a crazy 8 year to boot.
What's a crazy 8 year you ask?
There is a little bit if a story there, if you really must know.
You really must know now?
It's not that exciting of a story...really it's not.
You still want to know?
Well, you asked for it.

See, when I was about 7, I became intrigued with the idea that I would be alive at the turn of the century. I'm sure some teacher brought up the whole concept, maybe my dad now that I think about it. Whoever it was set in motion a train of thought that still chugs through my mental station every 10 years without fail.
At the tender age of 7 I calculated how old I would be when the calendar changed from 1999 to 2000. The ripe old age of 28-which every 7 year old knows beyonf a shadow of a doubt is ancient indeed. So with thoughts now focused on my inevitable extreme elderliness just 20 short years away I began the process of breaking that up into more managable chunks of time-tens of years rather than twenties-after all every almost 8 year old longs for the day she turns 18 right?
The following 10 years did not exactly fly by but without my planning any great thing away they did fly. At 18-not when I graduated highschool nearly 6 months earlier-I finally felt emancipated and well, officially "grown up" and did what any self respecting teenage girl does...I got in a fight with my mom(just a day or two after "the big day" if I recall) and vehemently moved out.

The following 10 years did not fly by but once again without my planning any great thing away they did fly. I had somehow accumulated a child, a mortgage, two dogs, two parakeets and a lover leaving for China so I did what any self respecting almost 28 year old does and vehemently moved to China.

Fortunately my mom and I had made up by then and though she wouldn't take the greyhounds or(at first)the mortgage she did agree to keep the child for me.

There I was, in China, in 1999 partying like well, like it was 1999 when it hit me...I was about to become old, ancient even. Yup. I was about to be *gasp* 28. Just ask Big Daddy D-I was very traumatised by my 20 year obsession with the number 28 in combination with the number 2000.

The following 10 years did not fly by and still with no great planning I find they have once again flown away. I have some how managed to accumulate a husband, two more children, a couple more dogs, several cats, innumerable fish, three parakeets, a couple of hamsters and another mortgage. I've lost plenty along the way-a child and most of the pets but not(unfortunately) the mortgage and like any respectable now 38 year old, I wonder...

What am I going to vehemently do now?