Thursday, December 4, 2008

I am so proud of myself!

It is official. I am a full 20lbs lighter than I was 6 months ago. WoooHooo!
It all started with a pretty bad case of food poisoning.
I must confess that I was a food sample freak. If it was out there and free I took a bite-after confirming no msg of course(migraines suck!). For years I partook with impunity.
Then the "freshly prepared" chicken salad came along. It tasted very good I must say.
It did not taste good less than 6 hours later.
I could not eat for 5 days. Just looking at food could send me hurking to the bathroom.
Don't worry I kept hydrated but by the time I felt better I had lost 9lbs and the urge to overeat as well. By the way I did gain back most of those 9lbs. Starvation is no way to "lose" weight and I am not advocating it in any way. Ask anyone that knows me, I eat, all the time. I love food. Bacon, butter and chips are eagerly consumed by me. I simply reconnected with my actual physical appetite, which I had lost touch with in the fog that surrounds grief. Over time that neglect had added about 27 lbs to my frame.
If you do the math you will realise that I have averaged losing about a pound or less each week. Slow and steady wins the race. It also keeps you from developing poor eating habits or heaven forbid eating disorders. Really what ended up happening is this: I ate a little slower so that my tastebuds and stomach stayed on the same page and quit eating when my stomach was full. If something didn't hit the spot or taste very good I didn't eat it. Exceptions were made for politeness sake, but only just enough to not be rude. As the weight began to come off, I found I had more energy and the desire to be more active. I'm not talking going to the gym or walking for miles with weights in my hands. I mean just doing more stuff. Going to the store more, playing with the dog more, going to the park with Baby more, just moving around the house and in my life more. And here I am 6 months later, healthier and happier with nothing more complicated done than listening to my body and following its dictates. All of which I am still doing, gladly.
Now, don't get me wrong. Willpower is a crucial ingredient. The habits that I fell into through grief, pain, and a bit of laziness were difficult to overcome. But the rewards are incredibly worth it. I don't have any desire to look half starved for fashions sake and I doubt I will ever have my highschool figure again- though I am not far from it.
I think I am most glad that this whole process has taken me on a journey into myself, the self that I had been carefully burying without even realising it and that this slow excavation of me is revealing a person I can be proud of.


Huff Daddy said...

Good on you! Wish I could say the same for myself.

WanderingGirl said...

Great! I'm attempting the same goal over the next year... daunting, but a little less so knowing that you've done it, too!

Brook said...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!btw notice the time frame, very slow. I am okay with that cause small consistent changes are the easiest and the best. And being healthy and loving yourself are the most important things anyway.
So, anyway-I know you can do it!