I like Chuck Norris facts. But Big Daddy D loves them the way I love The Chimp. He has been reading them to me for the past hour and I swear I am about to wet myself. Where do the proverbial they come up with these things? Nuns giving birth to the 1972 Dolphins football team, a knife fight and the knife lost, office supplies , the list goes on. I love to laugh. And laugh I have tonight. Deep in the belly laughter, the kind of laughter that shakes up all the sad and bad and breaks it up and chases it out. There he goes again. Cracking open chickens for eggs. Some of that just makes ya roll.
Whew, I needed that.
Baby and I have just had a day. A DAY. A day that makes me wonder what was I thinking deciding to be a stay at home mom. Yes, I do know how to take a shower by myself- I have been doing it lo these many years and no, no matter how loud you knock on the door I don't need a 3yr olds supervision. As hard as you worked making it I do not want any of your spit soup and no, I do not want to see another bugger-DON'T EAT IT! We don't eat candy for breakfast and we never have, stop looking at me that way. Just because you know how to operate the dvd player does not mean you can watch Tinkerbell 5 times in a row. Eat your lunch. No, I mean eat it. NO, eat it don't play with it. Robot Roooobot(r r r r noooobot)Don't feed the dog. Put you shirt back on, its freezing. Oh, your Jungle Evie, aren't you cold? No you can't go outside Jungle Evie, put your cloths back on. Good. She's not broken, you colored her with a red marker. I can't, permanent marker doesn't come off. You'll just have to love her the way she is. Daddy's at work. Mermaid juice? Say thank you to the mermaid in the refridgerator? Where is your father?
I need a drink.
And a good laugh.