Friday, December 19, 2008

ADD and me

I think I must have ADD or something. I said I was gonna finish knitting this pair of socks that I started back in the late fall of 2006. And I have worked on them. I got the heel turned and about half the instep. Then I got bored. I get bored a lot. I have a very hard time doing any project straight through. So here are the almost finished socks. As you can maybe see, there are a couple of hours of work left, less if I really focus. But I've made several pairs of socks, there is no challenge anymore and so I am not really interested any longer. Soooo, what do I do? Do I practice self control and get to work to get these done and over with?

Instead I spend who knows how much time cruising craft sites and Flickr pools and decide to make something else. So then I spend even more time looking for a free pattern because I'm frugal and shit (with everything but my time apparently) and I find this cute "little" bunny pattern. I honestly thought this would be about 4 inches tall. And take a couple of hours to finish. Nope, he's a rather huge 8 inches NOT including ears. And took the better part of a day-mostly because like I said earlier I think I have ADD and kept finding other stuff to do. I don't know what I did though since it sure wasn't laundry or making the bed. Which brings up another subject but I am trying to focus here! Stop distracting me with all your questions! LOL! So when I saw how big this bunny was turning out I decided he should be a present for Derek's 93+yr old grandmother who has Alzheimers and is now in a nursing home. I never knew this woman when she was well and therefor don't have the memory/affection base to truly, mmmmm, I can't really find the right words. I care about her and certainly wish she were better- on a care for your fellow man kind of way but I don't have a real personal connection with her and never really will. And I can't force myself to care more than I do and find it impossible to fake it or pretend- whatever- which can cause a bit of a strain in the family too as you can imagine though I do try practicing tact(difficult for me). So anyway, I started this bunny and it occured to me that since Baby was really digging this giant bunny that maybe Grandmother, who is on about the same level as Baby, might like the bright colors and something kinda soft to hold onto. So I crocheted it thinking of my wishes for her, to be happy, to be calm, to be pain free, to not be afraid and to be as kind as she is able to the people who care for her. So maybe I care more than I thought because now I'm crying. But I know that caring for someone, loving them even, is very different from liking them and maybe that is what I was talking about a moment ago.
Wow, that was a ramble through my mind. I'm ready to get out of those woods for now. I have miles to go before I sleep.
Without further ado......
The Bunny!


WanderingGirl said...

You're right, she'll love it! And what beautiful thoughts to knit into it.

Amy said...

I love have a way with words Brook. I think lots of nursing home "homies" would like an animal to love. Keep up the good work putting love into all your creations.

Brook said...

Thanks Amy! I will!