Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sorry it took so long Lyvvie!

So I invited, begged, pleaded etc...to be interviewed and got two sets of questions back on the same day. You might be tired of learning more about me but well, I am gonna tell you more anyway! These are from Lyvvie. I was waiting on visual aids from my mommy. I finally got them!
Ready, Set, GO!

1. Is there one time in your life you refer back to often and wish you could change? If you could go back and change it, would you?

Well, there are many times that I wonder what would have been different if I had made a different choice. The most obvious is of course Maggie. Should I have never picked up Big Daddy D? What if we had decided to split up rather than go to China together? What if I had been more careful with birth control? What if we had taken her to the emergency room just 30 minutes earlier? Would I choose to have never known her, and in so doing remove all the events that led to her birth-possibly even Big Daddy D and the life we have built together? Would I change the events that preceded her death? They would not have tried so hard to resuscitate her and called her death before our family had a chance to get there and see her one last time warm and breathing albeit with a machine. What if she had not died? Then Baby would not be here and how do I justify her lack of existence? Could I trade one life for another?
I can't change any of it. I wish many things-more than just this-could have been different but each of them- the good, the bad, the euphoric and the shitty, all of them- happened and shaped the person I am. It just is and I accept that I can't make things different. And so I keep on going straight ahead.

2. What was your biggest fashion nightmare where you thought you looked the hottest but on reflection, not so much?

Here are the visual aids: My Senior Prom

I am the one with the huge crazy hair and the crazy flowers. Yes I thought I looked hot-video vixenish if you will. Really, what was I thinking? And who is that short guy? I usually choose taller accessories.

3. Tell of a time you were really disappointed and how you got through it.

Hmm, I know there is one. I remember feeling really crushed about something. I do. I just don't remember what it was or when. So I guess I get through those times by not dwelling on them. Weird. I really can't remember.

4. What are your addictions; past and present?

Another easy one. I smoked for for nearly 3 years altogether-a few months before and then after my pregnancy with B. It was very hard to stop when I was preggers, but I did. Notice I did not say quit. I didn't quit, I just didn't smoke again until B was 3 1/2. Then- as I am sure you all remember- the lawsuit blah blah blah and the tax on cigarettes went waaaaay up on January 1, 1999 and I decided to smoke my last ciggie December 31, 1998. That was it. I am too cheap and stubborn to pay that much for something everyday. Yes I still crave them. But I am quit of them. My longest addiction is reading. I apparently taught myself to read at a very early age and remember-real memories-reading National Geographic magazines when I was 3. I have read voraciously ever since. The encyclopedia, dictionaries, every book in my early classrooms, special privileges in the libraries, you name it, I read it. Rebecca when I was 9. The entire works of Shakespeare and Stephen R Donaldson the summer I was 12 and every thing else I could get my hands on since. I read everything, everything except true crime and mysteries. I am one of the few people that I know who reads recipe books like novels. And reading for me fits the profile for addiction. I would do almost anything to get my fix, and yes, I do suffer severe withdrawal symptoms. I know that because for a brief period of time in China I had no reading material. It was ugly.

5. What are your passions; past and present?

I was a horse crazy girl though that has passed. I was passionate about Christianity until I realized it was-for me-a co dependant trap(plus I think too much and read too much to believe anything just because someone says to!). Hmmm, currently I am somewhat passionate about bentoing. I am always passionate about cooking-another thing I learned at a pretty young age. And I wish with a passion unbelievable to have my children grow up to be readers, thinkers and doers-able to stand on their own and weather life's storms with the power that comes from true knowledge and inner wisdom.


Huff Daddy said...

Nice pics. I'm sure mine aren't that much better.

Brook said...

Why thank you Huff Daddy! I can't wait til I look back in 20 yrs at my current pics and wonder WTF?

Nej said...

Turn the hair a darker brown, and the dress to purple, and you have one of my prom pictures. Scary! :-) :-)

Brook said...

Yep, I had the same thought reading your stuff! ;)

The CEO said...

You seem pretty normal to me. I liked the dress and the hair. I'll bet you were fun to date.

Victoria said...

You made me laugh and cry!

Seriously, heart wrenching, beautiful and funny!

And, thanks for the read..
Bad day. Yeah.

Huff Daddy said...

I have four cookbooks next to my bed right now.

ginstonic said...

Did you forget that I forced you to go to prom, because I never did? You weren't dating anyone at the time and the short guy was just one of the guys (also not seeing anyone) you hung around with. Of couse that friendship was ruined, becuase on prom night he discovered you had boobs. You never did like guys who hound-dogged, explains the Big Daddy D attraction.

Brook said...

HD-Mine are on a shelf but I do read them all at least once a year apart from the times I am looking ofr ideas! And of course we won't talk about the new ones.
Mom-You are right! He did kill that one with the octopus act. If he had been a foot taller maybe we could have worked something out. As it is I can't remember his name.