Friday, August 27, 2010

Okay I'll tell you...

Believe it or not it is watermelon.
I cracked one open and found that one of the lobes looked almost exactly like a tongue.
Minion #1 took some pictures.
Minion #2 ate the "tongue" with delight.
I didn't eat anymore watermelon at all.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Sometimes I want to just throw everything away and start over from scratch.
Days where nothing satisfies and never will.
Moments are lost as you wonder "Who? What? Why? Where? When?"
I think that's what reincarnation must be for.

Friday, August 20, 2010

If I were a vegetable

I think I'd be a zucchini.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

There are 760 students at The Kids elementary. We are the ONLY ones to walk to school*. It's less than 10 minutes. There are kids on our street who are "car riders". Those parents are running their car engines and ac longer than that. There are kids on our street who are bus riders. The bus ride to school is about 40 minutes, to home about 7. We were at our house when the bus let out at the top of the hill.
All of this works together to make the walk the best choice-though it is pretty friggin difficult still for me to get up that steep hill we live on-really for me it is the only choice, though she may ride the bus some days.
When I was a girl there were times we lived in town and walked to school. We rode the bus when we lived out in the country. The only time I was a "car rider" was when I went to high school 30 miles from where we lived.
Anyway, what is up with all this "car rider" stuff? I have to ferry them all around enough as it is, let 'em walk(with me of course-I need the exercise) or ride the bus.

*this could go on and on about lack of sidewalks, lazy people, ruining the environment, what's wrong with the world today, setting a good example for our kids, I used to walk 20 miles in the snow uphill both get the picture. I'll save all that for when I'm less hot and sweaty-or maybe never.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Do zombies sleep?
Do they dream?

I sleep.
I dream of zombies.

I wake up.
I don't sleep.

I lay still.
Foggy and fearful.

I remember the Perseid meteor shower.
Cocoon myself in a banket.

I lay on the back steps.
Fear forgotten.

I watch entranced.
Stars streak by in a rain of fire.

I hope for more.
Just one more blaze across the predawn sky.

I sleep.
Drift back to more pleasant dreams.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Dog farts are almost stinkier than husband farts.
Never let your hair dry most of the way wrapped in a towel.
When everything is done it's hard to do anything else.
Boogers. Everyone has them, the lucky ones have dogs who eat them.
Kipper is awesome.
The Kid has more clothes than I do.
I have the most shoes.
Sometimes, when you cut the tip off the ear of corn, the caterpillar falls out in two pieces.
Sometimes you find alot of pieces.
I found two moths fucking in my spoonful of milk and cereal.
Then the cereal-box and all-went into the trash.
Cats generally don't do well on walkies.
Laughter is an incredible aphrodisiac.
Venture Bros has come in quite handy.
I like lots and lots of pillows on the bed.
The weather here is actually pretty great.
Walking just a quarter mile with purpose is better than no walk at all.
Coffee is the bomb.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

She oughta be in pictures

Seriously, how cute can one kid be?

I for some reason have very little motivation today.
There is a relatively short list of things I must do, an even shorter list of things I kinda want to do and yet I have no desire to do any of it.
I'm not sad or anything.
Not tired.
Just bored in the truest sense of the word.
Gotta get up and go pee.
Now that is one thing that can't be put off.
Not until I'm 90 and wearing a diaper anyway.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I gots me some of dem der shape up shoes t'other day.
I been warin em now fer 2 days.
I thenk theys broken cuz dangit my big ol butt is still heer.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Life without kids...

means it's way too easy to drink a wee bit too much wine
means it's way too hard to cook for just the two of us
means I can watch movies whenever I want: G, R, or X(not that I'm really that tempted)
means at least for a day or three no vanilla for me
means quiet
means I can laugh as loud as I want
means no kiddy messes
means sooooo much less laundry
means sooooo many less dishes
means home projects, painting
means long put off mini trips
means I anticipate sex on the couch way more than I thought I would
means no kid TV
means ME time
Life without kids means...
it means
it means
it means


Wednesday, August 4, 2010


My baby is in France.
She is having a great time and that is wonderful.
I confess to being just the hugely bit jealous though.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Here I sit.
Who is going to complete this particular trifecta of death?