Friday, January 30, 2009

Why I missed a day

I had a tiny rough spot back on Wednesday.
I called my mom and found out my baby brother was in the hospital.
He had suffered a work related injury that crushed and partially severed his right index finger around 8am.
He was transfered to another hospital that had a hand specialist in the hopes that his finger could be saved.
Apparently hand specialists are in short supply because he didn't go into surgery til around 6pm.
He was in surgery for three hours but in the end they could not save/reattach the finger because it was so damaged.
Now, everyone I know that has died, did it in a hospital.
I don't like them for this reason.
Necessary evil, in my opinion.

Irrational yes I admit it.
You can not change my mind.
Don't try.
Anyway, you can not imagine the dread that consumed me until I heard my baby brother was ok.
Now I just have to worry about infection in the bone.
And I will.
I won't dwell on it.
But I will wonder.
And I will grieve with my baby brother as he grieves.
Because he will.
Even losing something so small as a finger will haunt him the rest of his days.
He will feel its loss every time he holds a pencil and brushes his teeth.
His budding artistic endeavors will be forever changed.

Oh, Baby Brother, I wish you did not have to feel this pain,
Feel the the ache that throbs in that empty space.
You will recover.
You will learn to live and work around it.
Eventually days will go by without you giving
your lost finger a thought.
Some days you will remember.
It is ok to grieve.
It is not silly.
It was not just a silly finger.
I love you Baby Brother.

9 comments:

Nej said...

The loss of something, even as small as a finger, never seems small to the person it happens to. But you're right, the pain will pass.

M@ said...

His brain won't know it's missing....

I once wrote a news story about how medical specialists serve patients. In the case of a woman on a reservation incurring severe injuries in an incidence of domestic violence, a specialist can actually be flown in hundreds of miles by the government. They'll have a plane that hops around all day, picking up and dropping off these guys for surgeries.

Brook said...

M@-He sat in the waiting room with no treatment or medication of any kind, and then was then transfered after 4 hours of being the pet freak show. They all looked, and no one did a thing. I think that may be the worst part.

WanderingGirl said...

Poor Baby Brother! That sucks. Does it help that losing an index finger is waaaaaaaaaaay more profitable than losing a pinky finger? I have way more ridiculous things to say about it, but I'll shut up now. I hate that he was in pain for so long. That was stupid and unnecessary.

V said...

I'm so sorry.

I understnd how you feel about hospitals (I'd ask you to read some archives - but it's asking too much).

Just hang in there,kiddo.

Hopes and prayers!

Huff Daddy said...

Well nose picking just became more difficult. He's a guy, ya know he does it. :P

PS. Wishing you both the best (even though I don't know him and only kinda "know" you.

Spellbound said...

I am so sorry you and your family went through this. The first thing I thought of was when my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 31. As awful as it was for her losing a breast at such a young age I kept thinking, at least it is something she can live without. I know it is cold comfort, and his experience was horrendous but thank God it was no worse.

Brook said...

SB-my bro was trying to pass it off pretty lightly but when they changed the bandage at the hopital he lost it. I think people fail to realize how much we define ourselves with our bodies. We go on and on about how we shouldn't be worried about appearances etc...but this physical body is the outline and our soul colors it in and changes to that outline can be traumatic. I mean heck, haircuts are big deals for almost everyone and hair grows back. There are many body parts we can live without but changing that outline is difficult.
WG- Just how profitable are we talking here? He is a hand to mouth kind of guy and they are saying at least 3 months of recovery rehab. He is thinking of contacting a lawyer but I think he should avoid any workers comp specialists-maybe your bro has some tips? Believe me he doesn't need an ambulence chaser. BTW, he was the 3rd employee injured by this machine though the first to actually lose a finger.

The CEO said...

First, I am sorry about what has happened to your brother. He will face an adjustment. I am just as sorry that he was mishandled at the hospital as well, there was no call for that and they should have handled him better in the emergency room.

I'm sure all will turn out well. I had all of my upper teeth knocked out in an automobile accident, and had two discs herniated in my back. I lucked out. If I had a neck, it would have been broken and I wouldn't be writing to you. I hope this helps.