What day is it again?

I've been blogging for over a year now. That's weird. Averaging four posts per week. Even weirder. I shoulda wrote a book. Or coulda wrote a book. A cheesy romance or a teen angst novel. A children's book or a recipe book. Urban fantasy or maybe even porn.

Instead I wrote life, lived it.

I will keep writing life and living it.

Good and bad, inane and profound.

Any way you look at it I seem to be unwilling to stop.

I'll be seeing ya.

What is this feeling
caring too much.
It is a lonely state.
I want to pull back
to stuff all of this back
down deep inside
into the dark
where I can't see
my heart bleeding
on these hooks
that have snagged me
from the sea of somnolence
I was drifting in.

Wish you were here...

I may have failed to mention that we have gone South for the holidays. Once again my trusty Subaru has carried us safely to sunny Fort Lauderdale-it's 5th such trip to the same destination this year. Crazy now that I think about it.

We are having a great time.

The beach.

The pool.

The food.

The family.

Oh yeah, I left the Christmas cards on the floor in the living room back up in Asheville. You will get them sometime...

Maybe Christmas in July?

Step One

Start with this big honking nose ring

And graduate to a sexy little sparkly stud like this
6 weeks Baby!

Calling for some cheese recommendations...

Seriously, what do you think would pair nicely with this whine?

In other news my Big Girl is seventeen this morning as of 9:04 am. Where has the time gone? I can almost see "empty nest syndrome" up ahead, lurking in the shadows just waiting to pounce on my not so unsuspecting head. On the other hand, I am beginning to look forward to the day when she will be out of my day to day hair, her room will be clean and possibly even stay that way for longer than an hour.

Oh oh oh!

I have a secret...Shhh

I'll tell you tomorrow...

Maybe.

=)

So you were wondering...

Where I hide the Christmas presents, weren't you?

After I bring them in from the car I mean.

Some people have tons of discipline and wrap them as they get them and store them away or put them under the tree.

Not me.

One of my first paying jobs was wrapping presents at the local Belks store over the holidays and I learned there that if you have all the supplies you need at hand that it is quite possible to wrap 20 presents in 45 minutes or so, so I just wait til I'm done shopping and have a one off wrapping session and shebang I am finished!

Not saying I have 20 presents to wrap.

Its more like a billion.

Seriously, I just went and looked and while my back was turned those things must have started breeding like rabbits.

NOOOOOOO.

I did NOT go out and do more shopping.

I didn't.

Nope.

It may have been someone who looks, acts, sounds, and smells like me- but it wasn't me.

Uh uh.

I swear!

."And just where are these presents multiplying?" you ask yet again.

Oh Right...I was going somewhere with this

Right here!

It looks just like the pile of bags for Goodwill that sometimes accumulates.

Every one's so used to seeing that they don't even wonder what's in the bag.

My brilliance knows no bounds!

*laughing at myself*

I love Mondays

I love roller coasters.
*LYING*

Pasta Carbonara

Bring water to boil in large pot.
Salt generously
Add in 12oz of pasta-I like linguine or fettuccine for this
Cook to desired doneness-I like al dente, about 7-8 minutes.

In small bowl combine
2 eggs beaten
2 tablespoons cream, or milk-whatever is fine
1/4-1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese

When noodles are done drain and place back in pan(turn the stove off please-the rest is all done with residual heat)
Pour the egg mixture over the pasta and toss til the pasta is glossy. If you need to loosen up the sauce add in some pasta water if you thought to save any or a little splash of cream or milk.

Here's the fun part

Toss in a handful or two of bacon bits/pieces from the ginormous bag you bought at Sam's awhile back and then stir in a couple of seeded and chopped cluster tomatoes that you bought last week and forgot about because you put them on top of the tangerines and they just blended in too well and you look over and say "CRAP! WHAT THE HECK CAN I DO WITH THESE CAUSE THEY'RE ABOUT TO GO BAD!" and that's why you decided to make Pasta Carbonara for lunch in the first place. Oh, and you and the French kid are the only ones who like tomatoes anyway and she is there because she slept late and your policy is if you sleep late in this house, tough titty, you get to stay home and scrub the bathroom the right way and maybe tomorrow when it's time to get up and someone goes to wake you up(2x) you'll get your butt up and get ready for school.
B only slept in once for the record.
I don't think M will do again either.

Sprinkle extra parmesan on top and enjoy your pasta!

FORGET THE SILLY SLIDESHOW

I spent hours creating a hilarious 6 second slideshow of my new grin and fuck all if Blogger won't upload it.

Fuck It!

Anyway, my skin is so fucking dried out from our recent blast of Arctic air and 30mph winds that I have had to resort to a tried and true remoisturizing method from my early childhood days.

You guessed it.

Vaseline.

All over my face.

Laugh all you want...

IT WORKS!

Dammit.

I was gonna take a picture of my non-shiny vaseline smeared self and my new big ass grin but fuck, it ain't gonna happen.

The fucking the battery is dying in my camera and I can't remember where I put the fucking charger either.

I hope you have a great weekend lined up, and before I forget...

Happy Fuckin' Friday Ya'll!

Word for the day

Discombobulated

This is your Christmas tree
This is your Christmas Tree on performance enhancing drugs

Actually this is what happens when you don't measure and go pick out a tree by yourself without the tall person that you normally use as a point of reference to help you dertermine whether something will be too big or too small or just right. This baby sucked up every strand of lights and every ornament and has a few hungry places that want more. I have not complied. Yet. I have yarn though, and patterns. I may crochet some snowflakes for those places. Yes. That sounds like a lovely idea.

In other news...

Yesterday sucked.

Today is better.

I get my braces off!

You may actually get to see a picture of me smiling!

Maybe.

OH, call me crazy.

Go ahead-it's okay.

We have ANOTHER TEENAGE GIRL in the house.

Yepper.

Her dad is an asshat.

That's all I'll say about that.

Cross your fingers for me/us.

It's shaping up to be one wild ride here at End of the Rainbow.

I'm sure to throw my hands up in the air and scream like a girl for parts of it!

=)

On my mind...

One of my most favorite books, definitely my favorite title.

Eating Fire, Tasting Blood

Just in case you were wondering.

Funk

Funk happens
Funk happens because
Funk happens because my
Funk happens because my spine
Funk happens because my spine and
Funk happens because my spine and my
Funk happens because my spine and my piriformis
Funk happens because my spine and my piriformis don't
Funk happens because my spine and my piriformis don't agree.

Because
Because my
Because my spine
Because my spine and
Because my spine and my
Because my spine and my piriformis
Because my spine and my piriformis don't
Because my spine and my piriformis don't agree
Because my spine and my piriformis don't agree funk
Because my spine and my piriformis don't agree funk happened.

All that to say that I have discovered that I can't pick up anything while bent over at the waist.
You know how you do when you are getting the wet things out of the washer and throwing them into the dryer?
I can't do that anymore.
Well I can but it is unwise and leads to extended down time.
I'm rather tired of down time believe it or not.
In the mean time others have been "helping" with the laundry.
Rather inconsistently as I have recently discovered.
So.
Funk happened.

I need to rewash the clothes in the washing machine.
PEE YEW!

DON'T NOBODY LOOK IN THE BACK OF MY CAR!

I was kind of tooting my own horn when I said I had completed my Christmas shopping in a two hour marathon yesterday.
I had.
Gotten everything on my list that is.
Now, though, I keep thinking of more fun stuff to buy everyone on my list.
So, actually it seems that rather like the first pee when you've been drinking the beer, yesterday's first shopping trip just broke the seal.
Someone is gonna have to take away my car keys, cash, debit card, credit card and checkbook and maybe sit on me a little bit too.
I WANNA SHOP!
(sung, of course, to "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister)

Henceforth the dwelling formerly known as 18 blah blah blah shall be known as:

End of the Rainbow.

Ahhh.

Some places...

Some places hurt. Tienanmen Square in Beijing is one of them.
The concrete cries out with the agonies of of violent death.
Our walk across the city center was a trial of sorts.
It lasted long enough for us to take our picture with Mao (something simply everyone who goes to Beijing must do)(that's him in the very back teetiny as can be) and rush across as though the hounds of hell were nipping at our heels.
While we were in China we saw many wonderful and interesting things and had some fabulous experiences.
We saw three men with two sledgehammers deconstruct a seven story brick building over the course of a year.
We saw people die in bicycle car accidents nearly every week in every city we visited.
We also saw a man paraded through the early morning streets on the back of a truck, his crimes written in red on banners and loudspeakers blaring commanding all to gather at the local sports stadium to witness his very public execution.
We witnessed a man being beaten nearly to death with 2x4's ostensibly because he had skipped out on a restaurant bill.
We saw a woman whose eyes had been put out in childhood to make her more pitiful in her job as beggar and street musician.
We saw wire crates filled to the brim with puppies and kittens, crushed and suffocating, waiting to be purchased for supper.
We saw starving people who couldn't afford a grain of rice.
We saw filth unimaginable.
We saw the extreme disparity between the haves and the have nots.
We came back to the States, quite happy to be living where we do.
But our eyes have been opened.
We see.
What we see is a damn shame.
It is a damn shame that our personal liberties are disappearing more and more every day.
It is a damn shame to see people go without health care in what is still one of the richest countries in the world when even the meanest of peasants in China could expect a modicum of health care.
It is a damn shame that our education system is so corrupted that our students can no longer think.
It is a damn shame that our people are so ignorant that they don't even see that there are questions they should be asking.
It is a damn shame that we are living in such an environment of fear.
It is a damn shame that we are being manipulated by fearmongers.
It is a damn shame that the fearmongers are people we trust.

I'll be honest though.

As long as we are healthy and there is food on our plate.
As long as we live this fat life.
We won't think about change for the better.

We are the goddamned frog sitting in the skillet that is slowly getting hotter and hotter, killing us by degrees.
Clueless
Until it's too late
That we are in one of those...
Places that hurt.

That's all I have to say about that.

Orange (you glad it's not a banana?)

Nej responded to an orange challenge and I know I've got at least one good orange photo and more than a few not so good ones, and thought I'd hitch a ride on the theme bandwagon-plus the Kid and I have been saying that silly knock knock joke to each other all week so I feel I must respond due to my "strange things in 3's" OCD compulsions.

Here we go!

Sunset at Wrightsville Beach North Carolina

The most perfect mango I have ever seen or tasted and it came from my Mom's mango tree.

One orange cat with glowing eyes-kindof a freaky thing to see at night

NO BANANAS!

Modern Machines

The Elliptical Trainer.

It may be low impact but when one has barely moved for 7 weeks...

Well.

It kicked my ass.

In only 10 minutes I might add.

We are meeting up again tomorrow for Round 2.

*whew*

(image from Fitness Plus)

I was wondering...

How many bras are too many?

If you think this is crazy you should see my purse/bag collection.

We won't even talk about the shoes.

Back to the bras. Having been blessed/cursed with rather large hoohas, and ones that definitely need a support group of their own, I am often on the lookout for a bra that fits and fits well. When I find said contraption I do purchase it. Because bras wear out. Especially when they work as hard as mine do carrying around heavy loads for 18+ hours a day. I am so glad that there is a Dillards clearance center near me where I can find those weird sizes(34G) in quality undergarments for a very reasonable price. I am especially pleased with my Freya collection- acquired for about $45 ($400 retail value). One of the pluses of having so many bras is that I have been able to maintain them in pretty good shape since there is a large pool to rotate through. The only downside is hand washing those suckers which can take forever. And then the drying! You know the scenes in old movies where the ladies bathroom is draped in unmentionables? Drying rack to the rescue. Only then it's the kitchen or living room graced with the presence of my plethora of over the shoulder boulder holders.

In other news, perhaps the best news in fact...I HAVE BEEN CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF!

What I mean is it has been okayed for me to return to the gym-as long as I don't do any squats or dead lifts(like I do that kind of stuff hahahahahahahahaha!) and stick to low impact and careful upper body work.

HELLO ELLIPTICAL!

I will figure you out and you will become my new best friend.

But first...a massage!

(Thanks Big Daddy D!)

My To Do List

Keaneau Reeves
Clive Owens
Vinnie Jones
Sam Elliot
Rachel Weiz
Andrew Zimmern
Vin Diesel
Mike Rowe
Shemar Moore
Josh Hartnett
Dane Cook
Patrick Warburton
Michael Strahan
Alton Brown
John Cusack
Jake Gyllenhaal
Heath Ledger *sigh*
Giovanni Ribisi
Edward Norton
Burt Lancaster

I don't know.
Maybe I watch too many movies and too much TV.
Whatever.

I'm Loving...

underwire bras.
high heels.
nylons.
that natural childbirth can be a practically orgasmic experience.
men, they are wonderful when used according to the directions that are on the back of that deck of cards.
tight clothes.
flirting with nearly everyone.
that I have nipples.
feeling sexy.
being sexy.
that my body is soft and feels delicious to me.
sunshine.
homemade chicken noodle soup.
soft furry bodies.
standing on my tippy toes.
walking pain free.
LIFE!

Suck It!

Having been turned into what can only be described as a slug the past few weeks I have felt increasingly despondent about my lack of activity and slow but seemingly inevitable gain of weight.

Getting out of the shower and drying off I reach into the laundry basket and grab a pair of jeans. Not really paying attention I thrust my legs in and start pulling up.

Further evidence of my journey to flabbitude.

I jump.

Do the chicken dance.

The pants make it up.

The zipper and button meet and close without too much trouble.

Lots of muffin top but eh, whatcha gonna do?

Finally I look down.

And realize...

I JUST WIGGLED INTO B'S SIZE 3'S!!!!!!

Now as I've stated many times I have no desire to be a walking talking bag of bones, and really no desire to be a muscle bound hard body.

I am neither.

But that crazy voice I keep hearing in my head,

The one telling me I'm fat...

Can SUCK IT!

Hand carefully placed to disguise said muffin top cause you guys don't need to see everything!

Sunrise at Sea

Real

Moments like this remind me that I am real.
There are days that float by, or maybe I float through them.
Never touching.
Never being touched.
Just drifting through with no highs or lows, snags or glitches.
Those are the days that I look in the mirror and there is that strange fog in front of my reflection that leaves me wondering just who it is I'm looking at.

Not today though.
I'm all here.
And I should feel better now.
I mean I've run through my emergency preparedness list for the past hour and even if I was half asleep and none of it made sense at least it's done right?
And it's no big deal.
I simply have a great way of freaking myself out over some things-though mostly it's just on the inside, and really, that way if anything ever does happen then I already have a plan.
Plans are good.
Plans keep you sane.
Now worrying is another issue.
Worrying can make you crazy.
Worrying is like rocking I always heard.
A whole lot of work that gets you no where.
So I don't worry.
I think and I plan.
Not worry.

*snort* If you believe that, there's a bridge with my name on it that I'd be happy to part with for a very reasonable price.

After all, it's just a little day trip to Atlanta.
What could go wrong?

Don't answer that.

Well what do you know?
It is just another Fuckin Friday after all Ya'll!

What a nice day I've had.

I love my stripey socks.
I love my tight white tee.
I love my holey jeans.

These little things have made my day.

The sun finally came out, peeking around the clouds.
I got my shopping done-no more major trips to the grocery til after Thanksgiving.
Walking without too much of a limp.

A few more things that have made my day.

Now, on to the Greyhound!

Is it Thursday yet?

Sometimes when you put on those panties that look great when you are on your way to naked you forget that they don't work so well under your jeans.

I forgot.



WEDGIE.



Or forplay.

I can't decide.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

I wonder what this one has to say.

The Camo Cat-unretouched in case you're wondering.

My writer self has wandered and I was, you know, just wondering if any of you have seen her? If you do see her, send her back my way please. I kind of miss her and her words that captured my heart and soul and imagination in a way that I could share and through that feel connected to a world larger than the one inside my bed, my room, my house, my head.

"You only live once you know." said MIL

"I know, you might as well have fun, there aren't any do-overs." says I.

Big Daddy D pipes in, "I don't know, sometimes you get a phone number."

Speaking of...

It may be time to get Blue a blow up cat. Or take him in for a little operation. Blue is getting to that age where Mom's don't ask what their little boy is doing all that time in the shower.

Don't ask.

Oh wait, it's TMI Thursday so I'll tell you anyway.

I'm laying in bed minding my own business when Blue leaps up beside me for a cuddle/purr session. I'm petting his fuzzy ears when he squirms away and tackles my forearm. He grabs my wrist and licks/nibbles the back of my hand, straddles my arm and paddles his back feet and I'm going "HOLY SHIT! This cat is masturbating on my fucking arm!"

Which he was.

SNIP SNIP.

Conversations

I wanna go to KMart!

Why do you want to go to Kmart?

I wanna go to KMart!

Why do you want to go to Kmart?

I wanna buy sumfin.

Do you have money, REAL money?

Yes.

You do? Real money to buy something?

Yes.

Where is your real money?

In Daddy's pocket.

(The car rocks with laughter as Daddy says "Funny, Mommy says the same thing")

So what would you like to watch for your night night movie?

Mommy.

No, something else.

Ok.

What would you like to watch for your night night movie?

God.

Alright, "Prince of Egypt" it is.

(She thinks I'm more fun than God-isn't that sweet?)

(WAIT! Maybe she meant I was more boring than God...Oh well! =)

Just a quick "Hello!"

(The light at the end of the tunnel)

HI!

How did a week pass without me noticing?

Things are better here. The pain is mostly gone, though the numbness, weakness and a strange feeling like my leg wants to throw up still plague me.

I am on my way to the kitchen to prepare supper.

Just simple spaghetti and meatballs tonight.

Confession: The meatballs are from the freezer section of my grocery store.

Sometimes you just gotta accept a little help-and it's a step up from Big Daddy D's idea of cooking supper...10 burgers from the dollar menu at Sonic!

The sauce is from scratch at least.

Catch ya later taters!

OOOOH OOOOH OOOOH!!!!!! I almost forgot!

I sold a pair of handwarmers!

I didn't ask for enough moolah but heck-I haven't sold anything in months so I'll take it. And then spend it all on the best bowl of udon and tempura I've had to date-which I did!

Okay, now I'm outta here. I can hear tummies rumbling from here.

Sometimes I'm too sensitive, it seems

You know I really just don't feel like writing much today.

I'm concerned about the slow progress of my back/leg situation.

I'm concerned about the financial aspects of that situation as well.

I prefer to not dwell on it too much.

I had a great time during my girl's weekend.

My leg is paying the price but it was so worth it.

I spent my tattoo money to go on the trip, and that was worth it too.

When I mentioned it, I immediately heard "Don't get a tattoo!!!!!! Those things are NASTY!!!!!!!"

It didn't really bother me when it was said on Sunday.

This morning it does.

Why is that?

Fucking judgmental asshat with no clue about what you're saying.

AAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let it go.

I need to go blow dry my hair.

Which is going back to red.

Soon.

Pancakes and Puddings

It is rich and warm
Coating my leg
Pooling at the apple of my calf
Dripping down
Slowly sliding to my heel
This thick syrup of pain

Yeah yeah yeah.
I've been up since 4 with cramps and spasms.

Do you have a surplus of apples? Tart firm baking apples?
Here's a recipe that will take care of one or two and that last egg that looks so lonely in your fridge.

Apple Pudding

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

In a small bowl mix:
1/2 C all purpose flour(I use whole wheat for this)
1 tsp baking powder(NOT baking soda)
1/2 tsp ground cinammon
1/2 tsp kosher salt(just 1/4 tsp if you use table salt!)

In a large bowl mix:
1 large egg
3/4 C sugar

Add dry mixture to wet and stir til blended.

Fold in:
1 1/2 C chopped apple(leave the peel on, okay?)(It's good for you and looks pretty)
1 C chopped nuts-I prefer walnuts though whatever you like will be fine I'm sure.

Spread batter in a well greased 9 in deep dish pie pan.

Bake for 45 minutes.
Serve warm or cool, with ice cream or fresh whipped cream if you're feeling fancy.
No pictures today...I've made this innumerable times and we always eat it it too fast for me to remember the camera.

Maybe next time.

Polishing the Silver

While alarming, discovering that one cannot in fact walk on ones tippy toes by the process of trying and having ones leg virtually disappear from under one and tipping alarmingly close to the floor before catching a wall placed conveniently nearby does in fact have it's lighter moments, as the aforementioned-and true to life-scenario demonstrates.
The seeming loss of ones leg can also come in handy when one is trying to lighten the mood of one's heartsick teenage daughter. Slapstick comedy, even of the involuntary sort, can never be out of place.
Too, the placement of rubber bands stretched in a triangular fashion between ones upper and lower cuspids resulting in slobbery lispy speech of the "thay it don't sthpray it" thort will, one is certain, provide hours of entertainment to the one thus afflicted. One will not mention the ineffective repetitive banging of one's toothbrush against said rubberbands in an hilarious attempt at tooth brushing.
Polishing the silver lining of one's dark cloud does indeed take some doing, but one finds the resulting shine is worth the effort.

FUCKIN' FRIDAY!

It's my fuckin' birthday too. What a sucky way to spend a birthday. In pain, in bed and a crazy 8 year to boot.
What's a crazy 8 year you ask?
There is a little bit if a story there, if you really must know.
You really must know now?
It's not that exciting of a story...really it's not.
You still want to know?
Well, you asked for it.

See, when I was about 7, I became intrigued with the idea that I would be alive at the turn of the century. I'm sure some teacher brought up the whole concept, maybe my dad now that I think about it. Whoever it was set in motion a train of thought that still chugs through my mental station every 10 years without fail.
At the tender age of 7 I calculated how old I would be when the calendar changed from 1999 to 2000. The ripe old age of 28-which every 7 year old knows beyonf a shadow of a doubt is ancient indeed. So with thoughts now focused on my inevitable extreme elderliness just 20 short years away I began the process of breaking that up into more managable chunks of time-tens of years rather than twenties-after all every almost 8 year old longs for the day she turns 18 right?
The following 10 years did not exactly fly by but without my planning any great thing away they did fly. At 18-not when I graduated highschool nearly 6 months earlier-I finally felt emancipated and well, officially "grown up" and did what any self respecting teenage girl does...I got in a fight with my mom(just a day or two after "the big day" if I recall) and vehemently moved out.

The following 10 years did not fly by but once again without my planning any great thing away they did fly. I had somehow accumulated a child, a mortgage, two dogs, two parakeets and a lover leaving for China so I did what any self respecting almost 28 year old does and vehemently moved to China.

Fortunately my mom and I had made up by then and though she wouldn't take the greyhounds or(at first)the mortgage she did agree to keep the child for me.

There I was, in China, in 1999 partying like well, like it was 1999 when it hit me...I was about to become old, ancient even. Yup. I was about to be *gasp* 28. Just ask Big Daddy D-I was very traumatised by my 20 year obsession with the number 28 in combination with the number 2000.

The following 10 years did not fly by and still with no great planning I find they have once again flown away. I have some how managed to accumulate a husband, two more children, a couple more dogs, several cats, innumerable fish, three parakeets, a couple of hamsters and another mortgage. I've lost plenty along the way-a child and most of the pets but not(unfortunately) the mortgage and like any respectable now 38 year old, I wonder...

What am I going to vehemently do now?

Ouch

L5 compressed, L4 is perhaps involved. Sciatic nerve inflamed.

Ouch.

The sun has set on summer I loved her and squeezed her and called her George

I sent George, Stark, Sancho, and Sneezy to a new home

I recieved a wonderful photograph(and more) from Tangobaby!

The usual suspects...Look at them breaking the rules and sitting on the counter!

Adventures in breadmaking...Success!

THE BEST PICTURE EVER!

"His name is Blue...but he's orange but his name is Blue" The Kid

Blue taking Opals bed...

Sherried pork roast and pears, snow peas, baguette and apple pudding w/ fresh whipped cream

Blue falling asleep while trying to catch his tail

Things are finally shaping up here for me. The house is a mess, the laundry mountain is back and I feel more rushed than ever most days but I don't feel like crying all the time anymore and that is pretty damn good if you ask me.

Sometimes I get bored...

Sometimes I have poor impulse control too...especially when it comes to Sharpies.

Warm rumpled linens caress my skin

Mmmmm

I slowly wake

Langorous in the pre dawn light

His head pushes hard into my hand

I stroke

His body presses hard into mine

I curl around him

Savoring the warm and soft

I bask in our embrace

His purrs rumble through me

Becoming my own

Mmmm

My Blue kitty love

A recipe to go with the last of the Whine

Wow.

I have spent some time re reading this blog and see that I have been rather sad as of late. When did I get so sad?

I was pretty happy when I started writing this baby. I wonder what changed?

Whatever, it sucks.

Gonna have to fix this.

I hate whiners and here I've been whining constantly for the past 4 months.
I need some cheese, maybe a *crack*er.

So.

Howz about a recipe?



Shrimp with Lemon Linguine (serves 4)

Put on to boil:

Water in your largest pot

Peel and devein:

1lb shrimp(I use 30-40 ct because well, it's cheaper and ends up feeling like you're eating more shrimp for the money)

Zest 2 lemons and add half of the zest to 1/4 cup olive oil-set aside oil and remaining zest

By now your water is boiling so add to the water: salt and 1/2 lb of linguine-set the timer according to the package erring on the too little time to allow for al dente pasta(who likes soggy pasta anyway?) Also, when your pasta is done don't drain and rinse it! If you must drain it, reserve about a cup of the cooking water.

(make sure the kitten is NOT chewing through your power cord as you type your recipe)(very crucial step here!)

Heat your largest skillet over medium hi heat

Slice thinly:

2-3 shallots(or a good red onion-go for the flavor profile you like best)

Add some olive oil to the skillet and the onions and saute. When the onions are not quite cooked to your liking add the shrimp and cook until the shrimp is almost done.

Add to the skillet:

juice of 1-2 lemons(once again adjust for your palate)

a pinch of salt, a grind of pepper

a splash of dry white wine(optional)

linguine

Toss and add:

1lb of baby spinach

reserved lemon zest

reserved lemon oil

1/2 cup or so of Parmesan cheese

Toss some more and if needed add up to one cup of the pasta water to loosen up your pasta.

Serve hot, with additional Parmesan and maybe some bread if you're feeling especially carberiffic.

PS I need to figure out how to override the autoformatting that happens with my recipes!

Dammit...even procrastinaters have to get to it eventually

I am staying busy so I don't have to think.
Thinking gets one in trouble.
Or at least makes one sad.
Look at me for example.
I have been sitting here doing nothing all morning.
Except thinking.
Crying.
But enough about me.
The chicks are happy in their new home though sadly one did die-one of the biggest ones surprisingly enough.
Blue is happy in his new home and makes me laugh and smile every day.
Our foreign exchange student, M, is happy and doing well(she is surprised though pleasantly so that we do not eat McDonald's every day).
B is making A's and just one B as she starts this school year.
E is ecstatic to be back in school playing with her friends.
Big Daddy D is excited to be moving to a new, less expensive location.
Every one is moving ahead.
Except me.
I feel stuck, stagnate, sad.
Listening to some sad song about wanting to blame the sad on the rain.
I wish it would stop raining by the way.
I haven't seen the sun in a week.
I should just get off my ass and get to it.
Whatever it is.

FUCKIN' FRIDAY!

Fuckin' A!
Posting from my phone...desperate times call for desperate measures and my monkey brain finally pushed the write keys to type "War and Peace". Fuck yeah!
Of course I forgot my phone charger.
Cause fuck if it ain't Fuckin' Friday!
Fuck yeah.

FUCKIN' FRIDAY!

Fuckin' A!
Posting from my phone...desperate times call for desperate measures and my monkey brain finally pushed the write keys to type "War and Peace". Fuck yeah!
Of course I forgot my phone charger.
Cause fuck if it ain't Fuckin' Friday!
Fuck yeah.

This life ain't no fairy tale

What you are about to read is a true story.
The names of those involved have not been changed.
The location: my yard
The time: last night
The characters: Me, Big Daddy D, a frog and perhaps Reepacheep

Last night as Big Daddy and I were lying in bed, waiting for sleep to draw the curtains on the day I heard it. Right under our bedroom window, the chirruping, rhythmic call of a frog ready to procreate.
After commenting on how charming the frog sounded I slipped into sleep.
Some time in the wee hours of the morning(3:28 if you really must know) I was pulled from a slumber that for once this week was untroubled by bloody vampire dreams. What was it? My sleep fogged mind could not process the sound. Is it the "smoke" detector? Is the gas stove on, bleeding particles into the air? As I stumbled through the house looking for the source of the metallic chirping I realized the sound was only in our room. A brief stop by the window confirmed my dawning suspicion that the culprit of my wakefulness was the lonely sound of that frog calling out for a mate, his song greatly diminished over the hours(count them, 5)of unsuccessful broadcasting.
I lay there, fortunately not long(final clock check 3:42 cause I know you want to know), listening and wishing for silence, and as I once again drifted into dreamland his mournful tune stuttered to a halt.
Relating my tale of yet another wakeful night to Big Daddy I was, as usual, mildly perturbed by his assertions that he at least had not suffered the froggy serenade and had had a peaceful night's sleep.
Later, just moments after morning goodbyes Big Daddy D comes back in and says,
"You're not the only one who got tired of that frog-it's in the driveway and something pulled it's leg off"
"You're shitting me?!?!"
I run outside to look-barefoot in the cool drizzly rain-and sure enough there is Mr. Frog, belly up with one front foot and the opposite back foot chewed off, dead as Mr. Kennedy, lying in state behind the mustang.
"Yikes! Don't run over him, don't pop him! You have to get him off the driveway! Throw him in the grass or something!" (I'm such a girl sometimes)
I suspect Reepacheep, in doing one of the weird things that cats do, read my mind and got rid of my pesky suitor.
I mean, I wasn't gonna kiss that frog.
This life ain't no fuckin' fairy tale.

Reepacheep would rather sit out in wet snow than come inside some days.

I will be back soon with pictures and recipes and blathering I promise. After nearly an entire summer away from home I have a real need to get settled in first-get some workable routines going and all that stuff.

And naps, lots of naps.

Karma is a bitch sometimes....

As some of you might already know B and I have tried unsuccessfully to rescue and rehabilitate two late hatching bantam chicks that got severely pecked by a hen that wouldn't take them into her brood. The first was so injured I'm actually surprised it didn't die right away.
The second appeared to be less injured and surprised us by living through the night.

We decided to name her Stevsie after that first night.

Love and Hope blossomed and twined around my heart as each day progressed. Four days and four nights are more than enough time it seems to become entwined in those two emotions. I began making plans for Stevsie's return with us to Asheville and thinking of how to keep her safe from cats and dogs until we could find her a good home amongst the growing community of urban chicken keepers there.

Really though, I could tell yesterday that she was getting weaker, not stronger.

As a matter of fact little Stevsie died this morning in my hands. The little chick just wouldn't wake up this morning and shuddered her last peep as my tears fell on her soft downy body.
I am still crying as I type.
On to the Karma bit.
The hen that pecked the three chicks and ultimately killed them was herself killed by a neighborhood dog last night. It was quick but there you have it.
The flip side is if we can catch them we will have the 4 bantam chicks from her brood-all healthy thank goodness-to take home.
Big Daddy D's gonna love it dontcha think?
I at least have the beginnings of a smile again.
How's that for Karma?

I've been busy...

Chasing spiders with a ginornous red truck...

Taking kids to Oreo stacking contests at tiny grocery stores...

Stacking 17 Oreos, the Kid won!

Finding just exactly the Crepe Myrtles covered with Spanish Moss that you might imagine...
When Moms stay up til all hours of the "ahem" morning drinking Lemon Drops the kids will put themselves to bed...

In the recliner...
In the rocker...

And of course the couch...

Some mornings even Opal doesn't want to get out of bed...

Adventuring here...

Looking at Mother Nature's porn...

Aaahing at Mother Nature's cathedral...

Posing for terrible photos...

Taking good photos...

Taking bad photos of waterfalls...

Going down 232 stairs-and then back up...

Observing strange fungi...

Applying "permanent" purple make-up...

Posing for a gratuitous bikini photo...

Saving a snake the size of a linguine noodle from a spider web...

Running from the PoPo cause we were having too much fun...

Laughing with my sister about our horrible dining experience...

Enjoying a small park in a tiny town...

Admiring my artist in residence at work...

Proving that my eyes are blue...

Pondering the whys of crooked trees covered with fur...

Ooooohing over boat shaped houses...

Aaaaaaahing over lighthouse shaped houses...

Checking my bank account to see if I could buy this $1.5 million house made out of grain silos...

Excavating fishy remains...

Observing cousinly love...

And cousinly annoyance...

Enjoying time with my sister at sunset... Being grateful for that one last great day with Loved ones...

I have indeed been wonderfully busy.