Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sometimes




So I was tooling around the internet and there is a blog that I read oh, once every couple of months or so. Don't know why she is usually funny and not too morbid about being single and dating.
She lost her father(I know now why I read so randomly)a while back and she shares her feelings about that.
Recently a friend of hers lost her infant son-probably to SIDS.
I followed over to her blog.
And of course revived every vivid memory of Maggie's death.
I decided to lose myself in reading for a day or so.
Just to occupy my mind til I could catch my breath.
Today I'll make a pot roast, clip the dog's toe nails, get the celery I forgot at the grocery store.
I'll enjoy the sunshine and the birds singing their courting songs in my back yard.
I'll continue to plan my little garden and make the lists I love so much.
And I'll cry-cause sometimes I do that.
It's okay.

18 comments:

Huff Daddy said...

:)

Nej said...

I'm a cryer as well. I think it's good for the soul!!!

Brook said...

Huff Daddy-that was almost as good as a hug...thanks

Nej-I too think crying is okay. Tears have been scientifically proven to have different make-ups according to the reasons for them. They may be our bodies physiological way of getting rid of sadness-and I usually feel better anyway.

Life On Edge. said...

I wanted to hug you too :(
Sometimes when I reminisce yet one more time about a time of my life that is gone for ever I wonder if memories are a good or a bad thing (Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind anyone?) I have to admit I would not want to let go of that part of myself, as painful as it may be... so crying? is ok.

And what you said about the composition of tears? compelling.

Brook said...

LOE-I love that movie! I think we need our memories good bad and ugly to help shape the person we become(it would be nice if we all used them as tools for good)
So even the sad times-I just go with it with plans to keep moving forward.

Amy said...

Thats all we can do Brook. Just keep swimmin,swimmin,swimmin...
Hope those tears wash away some pain and you feel better soon. BTW, have you seen my chips?

Brook said...

Amy-I ate the chips, I told you already =)
I feel fine-happy even-just a bit tearful.
That's the way it goes you know?

The CEO said...

{{{{{ Brook }}}}}
Memories are good things, and they improve over time, and we improve and heal with them. You're doing fine. I still cry for my grandmother, and she died February 11, 1970 at 5:00 pm from cancer of the spine, not that I found that traumatic in my life.

Brook said...

CEO-totally-bigger trials come when we live in denial.

Spellbound said...

To balance the universe I am having a happy day. We can't all be sad at once. Hugs darlin'

WanderingGirl said...

I saw that one too.

I love Eternal Sunshine, and I bought Gerbera Daisies the same color as those in the picture!

Just random stuff today.

shiloh said...

our relationship seemed to have began anew when we were both pregnant 8 years ago (moving closer helped too). but as i watch gavin grow and experience all his firsts, i am often suddenly side swiped by the realization of "this would have been maggie now, too". it feels like guilt but i think it is more and less - a very mixed up emotion. i simultaneously feel heartbroken that you are missing all those moments with maggie and thankful that i still have today with gavin and the hope of many more moments. not that i don't feel the same about lauren, but maggie's death somehow amplifies gavin's life. and i fear my life without him and that bothers me a bit.

we can not change the past but oh how it can change us. hopefully we can embrace who are and what we are yet to become.

ginstonic said...

Maggie said hello to me yesterday, too. I was dusting her corner and she really kind of popped out at me - it doesn't always happen, but yesterday it did. At first I am always sad and regretful, but I know that is really just about me. Once I got past that I was wondering what she is up to. I love you, Brook, the little girl you were and the woman you are. Mom

Brook said...

Spellbound-balance is crucial-I appreciate kyour effortson my behalf.

WG-(thank you)I could not resist the daisies-there are so cheerful-and they are in the green milk jug I bought up there-we have great taste!(why do dogs want to lick tears and snot?)

Shiloh-I love you. Even when you make me cry more I love you. I love Gavin and honestly don't think of him in relation to Maggie very often at all. I am glad you have him(and Lauren[haha])I can't wait to see you and them soon-just please don't let Lauren shoot my car!*snicker*

Brook said...

Mommy-I love you too.

Huff Daddy said...

"why do dogs want to lick tears and snot?"

Because they are salty! :P

Mmmm, salt. I prefer pretzels.

michael said...

very well written... touching

Brook said...

Michael-thanks for stopping by-your pictures speak to me so often and so eloquently-your compliment means alot to me.