TMI Thursday #3

Here we go again...
So if I were to be any other animal it would have to be a cat. I absolutely hate the water. I don't like swimming pools, I don't really like baths, and the first solar shower that comes out is mine. Don't get the wrong idea here , every day I do indeed get as mad as a wet cat. I put off the inevitable for as long as possible, but just like a cat I can't stand to be dirty and don't like to sweat either for that matter, but until I can't stand it anymore, I can find many many things to do besides take a shower.
This hasn't changed since back when I was single and dating(and a mom too).
I was dating this one guy, I'll call him Clint cause that was his name, and we had a hot date planned later, when he got off work(he managed a local video store so I didn't expect him til after 9). After I got B to bed I decided that I should shower-for the second time that day-because it had been at least 12 hours since the last one and well you know how that goes. But taking into consideration my dislike for water and the sense that I had plenty of time I started straightening the house. And preparing for my shower.

This entailed a similar mental process to the whole fight or flight thing with me taking off more and more clothes and still cleaning up.
Over the course of an hour or so I ended up naked with no idea what time it was, still not showered, vacuuming the living room rug.

I had been dating Clint for quite awhile and would leave the door unlocked for him.
He still knocked of course but would just walk on in.
With the vacuum going I couldn't hear anything.

Imagine my complete and utter shock and embarrassment when he opened the door and there I was in all my glory, vacuum in hand.

I dropped to the floor like I had been shot, completely mortified.

He, however, thought it was the most awesome thing he had ever seen and assured me I was the fulfilment of every pizza delivery boys dream "and look, I even have a pizza!" he says.

TMI Thursday

Be warned. I am about to divulge too much information. Skip to the end for the recipe(Banana Muffins) if you don't think you can handle it. No it isn't graphic. But it is funny.

Big Daddy D and I are mostly morning people when it comes to our intimate relations. And this morning was no exception. After some coffee and cyber jabs concerning some FB smart assedness last night(yes we are the people who IM when we are in the same room-some things you just can't say in front of your kids ;), Big Daddy D went to shower. After setting up Baby with snacks and a drink I followed him and locked the door behind me.

And then we broke the bed.
Seriously.
It is broken.
CRACK.
Involuntary position adjustment.
Groans and giggles.
Don't stop cause it's getting good.
Really good.
MMMMmmmm.
Lets check.
Yep, it's really broken.
Irreparable this time.
Yes, we have broken the bed before.
And the one before this one too.
And one in China.
Always the same way.
Maybe we should just put the mattress on the floor for good.
Save a little money.
Nah, where's the fun it that?
And let me just say that my moisturizer didn't work like I hoped it would on beard burn.

Banana Muffins

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

In one bowl:

Mash 4-5 really ripe, all brown, but not quite gross yet, bananas

Add:

2 eggs
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil(normally I would use butter but have found the muffins are more moist with oil-besides, I slather on the butter when I eat these anyway!)
1/2 cup chopped nuts(though in truth Big Girl does not like nuts so I leave them out, hence no "nut" in the title ;)

Stir like crazy til well combined(at least that is what Baby does and it seems to work)

In another bowl combine:

2 cups whole wheat flour-all purpose will be fine too
1 1/2 tsp baking powder(because I worry about it, I use the kind w/out aluminum)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp kosher salt(it's the only kind I have aside from big grey salt-if you use fine salt cut to 1/4 tsp please)
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/8-1/4 tsp fresh grated nutmeg-if you don't have fresh DO NOT USE THE PREGROUND STUFF! I MEAN IT! It is so not the same. You can find whole nutmeg where the little plastic bags of herbs are sold-usually in produce and usually for less than $2 (on the spice aisle expect to pay double) And they will last-so just do it!

Dump the banana mixture into the flour mixture and stir til just combined-it will be lumpy, stop stirring already!

Set your bowl aside and get your muffin tins ready by spraying them with cooking spray.
My tins are old inherited things and are definitely not the jumbo size. I also have a couple of mini muffin tins. This recipe makes either 12 regular size muffins and 12 mini muffins, or 24 mini muffins and 8 regular size muffins.

Your batter will be rested by now(yes, this important!) so...

Fill your muffin tins no more than 2/3s full and put in the oven.

The mini muffin tin goes on the bottom rack for just 12 minutes! Don't forget!
The 2 regular size tins go on the middle rack for 20-23 minutes(I like mine crispy and so go for the longer time but some people don't so...)

By the time you have eaten all the mini muffins the bigger ones will be done. Just take those out of the tin(s) and let cool on a cooling rack then bag 'em up and throw them in the freezer for later.

While Big Daddy D's away...

I won't whine. I hate whining. Absolutely hate hearing it and doing it myself. So I will merely say that I had a craptastic weekend. Parts were crappy, parts were fantastic.

For some reason every adult person that I interact with on a regular basis (in person) was unavailable for comment the whole weekend. 4 days with no one but kids to deal with leaves you looking for conversation in the strangest of places.

If any of you encounter a rather frazzled looking adult type person with children in tow and that person has a rather desperate smile and talks a bit too fast-be kind, be patient, be responsive, after all you might be the only grown up that person has talked to in days.

On the fantastic side I had a wonderful hours long discussion with my big girl about boundaries and healthy relationships, the wisdom of being a good friend and the time it takes to learn that it is impossible to fix people. It was a fantastic talk and I did not get bogged down in the in lecturish behavior that sometimes happens.

I also very fantastically purchased my favorite jeans of all time in my very favorite size of all time and yes, my ass is fantastic in them. A pair of Levi 501 blues in 30x30 since you asked so nicely. Shhh, Big Daddy D doesn't know I bought them.

I have also embarked on a rather ambitious though I admit rather silly project. 1000(+1) origami cranes to be folded and strung together for a wish granted and good luck. At my current rate of folding I am estimating a finish date sometime early spring 2010. That should give me plenty of time to figure out what I want to wish for-which I think is the whole idea anyway;)

To top it all off even though I have a teenage daughter and all that that implies she is fantastic too and helped me start off my morning today rather fantastically as you can see for yourself.

She can't spell for anything but I think I'll keep her. Good minions are hard to come by.
The smaller of the minions obligingly woke with a smile thereby ensuring that this morning is fantastic indeed.

LaLaLa

Sometimes that extra glass of wine is worth the headache. And the sore thighs. And the serious whisker burns.
(giggling)
Being able to take a nap helps too.

MamaJama did a great job with our steaks, and the eggplant too. Still experimenting with which direction on the stove works best as she is big enough to to cover two side burners or two front burners. I'll just keep trading back and forth for awhile.

Oh, and I have this theory that the day you stop learning is the day you start dying. I learned today that while I might one day get a tattoo(I do want one) , I will never ever get nipple piercings. Not that I ever gave that much thought, mind you, but Reepacheep got me right square in the headlights this morning with his crazy kneading action and cleared up that issue forever. OUCH!

Now, on to the aspirin!

It was inevitable.

I know it was.


Planning ahead.
Time spent thinking about what to do.
How to do it.
Convincing your partner.

Small fortune spent on supplies.

Everything has to be perfect.

Hours on your hands ands knees.
Screwing and plugging.

And then what?
Does it last?
Of course not,
The pleasure and satisfaction are fleeting.

Baby figured out the child-proof locks on the cabinets.

What did you think I was talking about?

mmmm
slowly waking up
surrounded by him and golden sunlight
skin sliding
heat
sighs become moans
ahhhhh
later he leans over "coffee?"
mmmm
curled soft snug in warm sheets
lingering
entranced by loving
and dreams unfurling
awaiting
coffee
ahhhh