Wednesday

I look at this picture and wish I had bought this bit of Folk Art. It was only $7, but I knew then as I do now that it would have been rather silly. I don't need any more doodads cluttering up the house. In fact I need to declutter here at End of the Rainbow something fierce. I'm sure that thought and desire (the decluttering bit I mean) will continue to ferment and foment and come Spring I will be ready to thin out my dolollies and maybe my closet too. In the mean time I will continue gazing at the fire and think of some new thing to make. I feel a need to get busy and get creative. I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday

My sister is beautiful. Inside and out. She is also my best friend.

I love you Shi!

Monday

I'm ready to feel alive again. To live free and happy. I remember feeling that way. These few days in January always suck. I'll be glad when this week is over. In the meantime...

I'd rather be here today.

Here would be good too.

Gingerbread

I love gingerbread, especially when it is cold outside-you know, like it has been for the past month.

BBBRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

This recipe is also versatile to a certain extent and can be used as is to make pancakes on the stove. Just turn the heat down low so the thick batter can cook through without burning the outside of your gingercakes.

Ready? Here we go.

Gingerbread

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

In a medium size bowl sift together:

2 1/2 cups AP flour

2 1/2 tsp baking powder(aluminum free please)

1/4 tsp baking soda

2 tsp powdered ginger(this is spicy if you have good ginger-take note and adjust to your liking)

1 tsp cinnamon

a pinch of cloves(if you don't like cloves-though I can't imagine that at all-this pinch can be omitted)

In a medium liquid measuring cup mix together:

3/4 cup milk(any kind will do, I always buy 1% cause the fattier stuff is too thick for my cereal habit and skim is too watery)

1 egg

2/3 cup unsulphered molasses(use cooking spray on your measuring cup before you start-oh, and if you set the bottle of molasses in warm water it will pour much more easily)

In a large bowl cream:

1/3 cup butter

Add dry ingredients to the butter and mix until it looks kind of like sand then pour in the wet and stir vigorously for one minute.

Spread into a greased 15"x10"x1" sheet pan(what I call a cookie sheet but I don't think that is what they really are) and bake for 15-18 minutes or until a skewer inserted in the middle comes out clean.

Let rest in the pan for a couple of minutes and then turn out on a cooling rack. I usually then turn it back right side up cause I like the way it looks. Add a little lemon glaze or whipped cream if you are feeling fancy. I usually don't (feel that fancy).

This is of course best served a warm with hot coffee, hot tea, hot cider or cold milk-depending on age and preferences I guess.

Oh yeah, this is perfect for Christmas morning and is one of our traditions here( which is why I discovered the gingercake option because we had no power, just a gas stove top, this past Christmas) right along with new pj's for everyone in the house.

Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Maggie.

You'd be 9 years old today, a third grader with long dark hair and blue eyes and maybe a few loose teeth. You'd be riding your bike or maybe throwing snow balls, bugging your Big Sister while your Baby Sister bugs you. Later we'd be watching you blow out the candles on your chocolate cake, scooping ice cream and watching you open your presents and shushing you and your giggling friends when you should all be in bed. We'd have done our best to make this day a special and happy one.

If you were here.

But you're not.

Instead we will take flowers to your grave and I am sure cry even more, lost in memories and wishes, hopes and dreams unrealized, trying to get past the pain of losing you.

Tuna Patties

The Everglades as seen from an air boat on the Miccosukkee Indian Reservation

Tuna Cakes

In a largish bowl combine:

5 5oz cans chunk light tuna packed in oil-it tastes so much better that's why!-well drained

1 large egg

Mix together and then stir in:

1/2 to 3/4 cup seasoned bread crumbs(the guess is because I measure in my hand and sometimes I spill some, it's not rocket science-unless you're AB of course)

Fold in:

2-3 tablespoons capers

fresh ground black pepper to taste(or in my case about 2 teaspoons easy)

Using an ice cream scoop, scoop out onto a biggish plate 8 patties and lightly pat them down to about an inch thick or so, evening up the sides as you go.

Cover with plastic wrap or tea towel and put them in the fridge for 10 or 15 minutes. If you skip this step your patties will end up falling apart. Trust me.

Take the plate out of the fridge and put about 1/4 cup of AP flour in a little wire strainer and lightly dust the patties. Gently pat the flour in and carefully turn the patties over and repeat.

Heat your largest flat bottom skillet over medium/medium high heat and add enough olive oil to cover the bottom(no, I have no idea how much it works out to be)

Place the tuna patties in the hot oil and cook about 4 minutes per side-maybe longer. I have one person who loves them dark and crispy and I do try to accommodate her requests from time to time.

Serve with lemon linguine(which is this minus the shrimp) and additional lemon wedges to squeeze on top.

These are quite good and actually got a "I really like this" from a non canned tuna eater.

With cat and dog ensconced on my lap and keeping me warm I struggle to tap out these few words. A difficult task for more than the obvious reason. My heart and mind are full of feelings and thoughts better left unfelt, unsaid, unexplored. For now I am fine with that. If sometimes my chest aches and my throat tightens while tears glisten unshed, I don't dwell. I just move on. One day the quagmire that lurks inside my soul may catch me, but it will not be this day. Not this one.

are we there yet?

I am on the verge of insanity here in this car. Three days on the road in a too cramped space will do that.
Things currently grossing me out:
people wearing the same unwashed clothes 3 days in a row
people not brushing their teeth 3 days in a row
being in said cramped space with those people
Things pissing me off right now:
liars
teenagers
sanctimonious assholes
dreaming about E and me being killed 2 different times and 2 different ways both times by the same person
Things I'm looking forward to:
getting out of this fucking car
sleeping in my own bed

What a crappy way to end a vacation that was absolutely one of the best times we had as a family in 2009.

Oh well. Can't win 'em all.