Fucking Friday

I am on the edge today.

Not enough sleep and the 6yr old waking up at 5am to tell me how I didn't read her a fucking story did not a good morning make.

There is of course a whole bunch more shit but just thinking about it is stressing me out.

I think I'd literally explode trying to type it all out.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Happy Fucking Friday.

I'm pretty hungry right now.

I wish I had some leftovers.

Or some chips.

Oh well.

A piece of toast.

A glass of water.

OoooohOoooooohOoooooooh!

Some butter and jam.

That'll work.

The much Anticipated, often Imitated, hopefully Duplicated

Genie of the...wait, that's something else...

Beef with Sour Cream

(Or Beef Stroganoff but really, I have no idea if what I make is anywhere near authentic enough to go by that vaunted name.)

What you will need:

1 almost 6 year old-otherwise known as the color commentator

1 almost 18 year old-purely decorative though handy with a gag when the color commentary starts getting on your nerves(JUST KIDDING-though she is handy with getting the electronic babysitter going at a moments notice)

Okay, you really don't need them but it seems I don't cook without my "posse".

A biggish flattish hunk of beef, like ummm sirloin or a skinny chuck or top round-about 1 1/2 lbs.

Put this in the freezer for about 30 minutes and start gathering the rest of the ingredients.

(If you have a fridge like mine you can cut out this step by keeping the meat drawer at 33 degrees-I don't know how it happened but I am thankful-and your meat will always be icy and last longer in it's nearly frozen state)

1 cup all purpose flour

1 tbsp salt

lots of fresh ground black pepper(I LOVE PEPPER so I use at least a tbsp)

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp garlic powder

a little bit of rubbed sage

Mix all this stuff up in medium bowl and set aside

1 tbsp oil-I used olive oil this time

1 1/2 lbs sliced mushrooms which you got on clearance for $1.50(Love!)

Put these in a big skillet on medium heat, sprinkle with salt and pepper and try to keep the color commentator from stirring them cause they need to just sit there and cook for like ever without moving.

Get your big hunk of beef and a cutting board and a SHARP knife and get ready to start slicing. You want to cut this as close to paper thin and across the grain as possible-remember we are working with one tough ass slab o'beef here and the partially frozen bit will help out with that.

Once you have your beef sliced in pretty red ribbons dump it in the seasoned flour mixture and make sure each piece is coated.

You may now stir the mushrooms.

In a BIG skillet-or GIANT wok as the case may be-get some oil-again I used olive this time-almost smoking hot and add your flour dredged beef a little at a time and brown it. DON'T WORRY ABOUT COOKING IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH AT THIS POINT! When it gets kinda browned remove it to a plate , add some more oil to the skillet if you need it and more beef, repeat until all the beef is browned. I think I did it in 3 batches.

Put a big pot of water on to boil.

Now your beef is browned, sitting to the side and your skillet is hot and crusty from all the oil and flour and you are ready to get started on the gravy bit.

Pour 1 14oz can of chicken broth into the pan to deglaze it, (here would be a good place to also add some wine if you are leaning in that direction, maybe 1/2 to 1 cup of whatever dry red you like) scraping the brown bits up as you go.

Dump the meat and juices that have collected back into the BIG skillet-or GIANT wok as the case may be-and give it a good stir, bring the whole lot to a simmer and keep it there for 10 minutes or so to finish cooking the beef and hopefully let it get tender(it's called braising).

Dump a bag of extra wide noodles in the boiling water which you just salted.

Anywho, the gravy will get thick and if it gets too thick like say, playdoh or something, just add more chicken broth or if you don't feel like opening another can, some water or milk-remember you do want the gravy to be rather thick at this point though.

Next dump in the mushrooms and the liquid that's cooked out of them into the BIG skillet-or GIANT wok as the case may be-and stir. Taste it and see if it needs any more seasoning(read salt there)(you never know)

It's a big brownish mess isn't it?

We'll fix that!

Turn the heat off and stir in 3/4 -1 cup of sour cream according to your taste.

Drain the noodles and depending on how you were raised either serve the noodles on the side or stir them into the

Beef and Sour Cream.

PS DO NOT TRY TO TAKE A SHORTCUT AND USE A PACK OF ONION SOUP MIX WITH THE FLOUR.

I tested it and let me tell you GROSSNESS WILL RESULT AND I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY.

Conversations

We're enjoying the crisp Fall day.

Walking through the Farmers' Market, perusing the fruits and vegetables, smelling the fresh air and roasting peanuts.

I look down at my girl in her pretty yellow dress and lace shawl, smiling, swinging our clasped hands a little.

Her other hand is busy, finger jammed knuckle deep in gold digger territory.

"Sweetie don't do that."

"Why?"

"We are in public and you just don't do that in public places."

Long pause for thought.

"Okay"

Inspection of aforementioned finger.

"I'll just put this here (wiping finger at the side seam of her dress) in case I need a booger later."

I decide to buy eggs, bread, country ham and some muscadines in case I need them later.

The week before Big Daddy D and I are at our regular grocery to get milk and eggs.

My preferred egg "Appalachian Naturals" (a bit more free range than some and local'ish)(and not too expensive at around $3) are not on the shelf and I make enquiries.

"Have you stopped carrying the Appalachian Naturals eggs?"

"Well now I don't know, maybe. Some of them high dollar eggs we had to just throw away cause no one buys them so after awhile we just don't carry them anymore"

I'm looking at a carton priced over $5 as he says this.

"Uh huh" I think.

Big Daddy D pipes in.

"They're all eggs, what's the big deal? Just grab some."

Obviously someone is ready to leave the store.

I reply that "The eggs on the shelf are really not as good, that the color and flavor will not be as wonderfully delicious as what we normally get."

I look up just in time to catch the commiserating glance between the two men present and -with an appropriate eye roll - grab my second choice after duly checking the eggs for cracks and the carton for the expiration date.

Turns out the Farmers' Market is also a good place to buy a better egg.

What do you think?

Guess which is the grocery store egg and which came from the Farmers' Market.

What do you do when...

you want to play "Ants in the Pants", open the box and find one blue ant?

No pants mind you, just the ant.

We played 4 hands of UNO and I was soundly tromped by the 5yr old each time.

Seriously.

Oh, and here's a picture of what I've been busy doing the past week. I am quite proud of my own damn self.

Maybe now I can get some work done.

Or make more preserves...

Hi!

I'm kinda busy at the moment so that's if for today.

Bye!

Dreamscapes

Cigarettes and snow.

Matches flaring.

Long hair drifts across my face.

Stairs.