I'm pretty hungry right now.

I wish I had some leftovers.

Or some chips.

Oh well.

A piece of toast.

A glass of water.

OoooohOoooooohOoooooooh!

Some butter and jam.

That'll work.

The much Anticipated, often Imitated, hopefully Duplicated

Genie of the...wait, that's something else...

Beef with Sour Cream

(Or Beef Stroganoff but really, I have no idea if what I make is anywhere near authentic enough to go by that vaunted name.)

What you will need:

1 almost 6 year old-otherwise known as the color commentator

1 almost 18 year old-purely decorative though handy with a gag when the color commentary starts getting on your nerves(JUST KIDDING-though she is handy with getting the electronic babysitter going at a moments notice)

Okay, you really don't need them but it seems I don't cook without my "posse".

A biggish flattish hunk of beef, like ummm sirloin or a skinny chuck or top round-about 1 1/2 lbs.

Put this in the freezer for about 30 minutes and start gathering the rest of the ingredients.

(If you have a fridge like mine you can cut out this step by keeping the meat drawer at 33 degrees-I don't know how it happened but I am thankful-and your meat will always be icy and last longer in it's nearly frozen state)

1 cup all purpose flour

1 tbsp salt

lots of fresh ground black pepper(I LOVE PEPPER so I use at least a tbsp)

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp garlic powder

a little bit of rubbed sage

Mix all this stuff up in medium bowl and set aside

1 tbsp oil-I used olive oil this time

1 1/2 lbs sliced mushrooms which you got on clearance for $1.50(Love!)

Put these in a big skillet on medium heat, sprinkle with salt and pepper and try to keep the color commentator from stirring them cause they need to just sit there and cook for like ever without moving.

Get your big hunk of beef and a cutting board and a SHARP knife and get ready to start slicing. You want to cut this as close to paper thin and across the grain as possible-remember we are working with one tough ass slab o'beef here and the partially frozen bit will help out with that.

Once you have your beef sliced in pretty red ribbons dump it in the seasoned flour mixture and make sure each piece is coated.

You may now stir the mushrooms.

In a BIG skillet-or GIANT wok as the case may be-get some oil-again I used olive this time-almost smoking hot and add your flour dredged beef a little at a time and brown it. DON'T WORRY ABOUT COOKING IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH AT THIS POINT! When it gets kinda browned remove it to a plate , add some more oil to the skillet if you need it and more beef, repeat until all the beef is browned. I think I did it in 3 batches.

Put a big pot of water on to boil.

Now your beef is browned, sitting to the side and your skillet is hot and crusty from all the oil and flour and you are ready to get started on the gravy bit.

Pour 1 14oz can of chicken broth into the pan to deglaze it, (here would be a good place to also add some wine if you are leaning in that direction, maybe 1/2 to 1 cup of whatever dry red you like) scraping the brown bits up as you go.

Dump the meat and juices that have collected back into the BIG skillet-or GIANT wok as the case may be-and give it a good stir, bring the whole lot to a simmer and keep it there for 10 minutes or so to finish cooking the beef and hopefully let it get tender(it's called braising).

Dump a bag of extra wide noodles in the boiling water which you just salted.

Anywho, the gravy will get thick and if it gets too thick like say, playdoh or something, just add more chicken broth or if you don't feel like opening another can, some water or milk-remember you do want the gravy to be rather thick at this point though.

Next dump in the mushrooms and the liquid that's cooked out of them into the BIG skillet-or GIANT wok as the case may be-and stir. Taste it and see if it needs any more seasoning(read salt there)(you never know)

It's a big brownish mess isn't it?

We'll fix that!

Turn the heat off and stir in 3/4 -1 cup of sour cream according to your taste.

Drain the noodles and depending on how you were raised either serve the noodles on the side or stir them into the

Beef and Sour Cream.

PS DO NOT TRY TO TAKE A SHORTCUT AND USE A PACK OF ONION SOUP MIX WITH THE FLOUR.

I tested it and let me tell you GROSSNESS WILL RESULT AND I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY.

Conversations

We're enjoying the crisp Fall day.

Walking through the Farmers' Market, perusing the fruits and vegetables, smelling the fresh air and roasting peanuts.

I look down at my girl in her pretty yellow dress and lace shawl, smiling, swinging our clasped hands a little.

Her other hand is busy, finger jammed knuckle deep in gold digger territory.

"Sweetie don't do that."

"Why?"

"We are in public and you just don't do that in public places."

Long pause for thought.

"Okay"

Inspection of aforementioned finger.

"I'll just put this here (wiping finger at the side seam of her dress) in case I need a booger later."

I decide to buy eggs, bread, country ham and some muscadines in case I need them later.

The week before Big Daddy D and I are at our regular grocery to get milk and eggs.

My preferred egg "Appalachian Naturals" (a bit more free range than some and local'ish)(and not too expensive at around $3) are not on the shelf and I make enquiries.

"Have you stopped carrying the Appalachian Naturals eggs?"

"Well now I don't know, maybe. Some of them high dollar eggs we had to just throw away cause no one buys them so after awhile we just don't carry them anymore"

I'm looking at a carton priced over $5 as he says this.

"Uh huh" I think.

Big Daddy D pipes in.

"They're all eggs, what's the big deal? Just grab some."

Obviously someone is ready to leave the store.

I reply that "The eggs on the shelf are really not as good, that the color and flavor will not be as wonderfully delicious as what we normally get."

I look up just in time to catch the commiserating glance between the two men present and -with an appropriate eye roll - grab my second choice after duly checking the eggs for cracks and the carton for the expiration date.

Turns out the Farmers' Market is also a good place to buy a better egg.

What do you think?

Guess which is the grocery store egg and which came from the Farmers' Market.

What do you do when...

you want to play "Ants in the Pants", open the box and find one blue ant?

No pants mind you, just the ant.

We played 4 hands of UNO and I was soundly tromped by the 5yr old each time.

Seriously.

Oh, and here's a picture of what I've been busy doing the past week. I am quite proud of my own damn self.

Maybe now I can get some work done.

Or make more preserves...

Hi!

I'm kinda busy at the moment so that's if for today.

Bye!

Dreamscapes

Cigarettes and snow.

Matches flaring.

Long hair drifts across my face.

Stairs.

Machete

I think I'm gonna like the movie.

We need to have a bathroom upstairs.

I made pear preserves just like my MawMaw made.

Guess which one I'm going to tell you all about today?

MAWMAW'S PEAR PRESERVES of course!

Up until yesterday no one had been able to duplicate her recipe and though I probably still haven't gotten it just right, it's the closest any of us have come in the 15 years since my Mom's mother's mother died.

So, you might be asking, why not just find a pear recipe and make it-preserves can't be that hard can they?

We've all tried and-trust me-nothing has been even close. The mystique has only grown with time and our memories have waxed nostalgic with remembered flavors and textures.

Now, my brain is the kind that likes to puzzle things out waaaay in the background while I'm doing other stuff and then surprises me with EUREKA! at the strangest times. Add in my love of cooking and you can figure the rest of the story.

3 0'clock in the morning, about 4 years after seriously talking about these preserves with my Mom, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins at a family gathering, I woke up and just knew what MawMaw's secret was and what to do to recreate her pear preserves.

What was her secret?

Don't worry, I'll share.

QUINCE!!!!!!!!!

MawMaw didn't make pear preserves, she made quince preserves.

Quince and pears look alike but believe you me they aren't the same.

How do you find quince?

Good luck at the grocery.

What you really need to do is find someone who has an old pear tree in their backyard and knock on their door and ask them if you could have a few pears.

They will tell you that those pears aren't ever any good, they never get soft or sweet and they aren't sure why they haven't just cut the pesky no good tree down yet.

You my friend have just struck gold.

Way back in olden days many people planted a quince tree so that they could put up preserves and chutneys with the fruit which is extremely hardy and relatively pest free-unlike a sweet soft pear. Now this tree planting took place sooooo long ago and so few people these days know anything anymore about the days before jams, jellies and sweets were found at the grocery-the days when many people put up their own food, stocking up the Winter pantry with Summer's bounty-that the current owners of home and tree are clueless about the delights to be found in their own backyard.

Which brings us back to the neighbor...

Ask them if you can pick a bag or so, or even just get all the windfall up off the ground for them (since you're planning on canning them a little bruising doesn't hurt) so...

Chances are good that they will agree and somehow think they are getting the better part of the deal.

Win Win!

Hopefully you now have about 3 pounds of hard bitter fruit.

What to do, what to do?

Let the quince sit on the counter for a day or two-it won't hurt a thing. Eventually you'll decide you need that counter space for something and be ready to get to work.

Get a sharp little knife and start peeling and slicing those hard buggers. Let me share the proper technique. Peel the skin with small firm movements of the wrist towards yourself, bracing the quince with your opposite hand and cutting hand thumb. When the peel is gone continue the peeling motion around the fruit cutting thin slices off as you go and discarding any bruised flesh. The slices you cut should be no more than a quarter inch thick, thinner if you can manage it. Don't worry about coring the fruit as you'll know when you can't get any more good stuff off, most quince have a significantly hard grainy center-believe me. Do the slicing as you peel, over a bowl to catch the surprising amount of juice that is released. Don't worry about the quince turning brown, it's supposed to! Okay okay, the preserves are supposed to end up dark if you want it to be like MawMaw's-you do want it to be like hers don't you? Keep peeling and slicing until you end up with about 2 1/2-2 3/4 pounds of prepared fruit.

Here comes the hard part...

Dump the fruit into a big dutch oven type pot and dump over the top about 2 cups of sugar and oh, maybe a half cup of water, stir and bring to a low simmer.

DO NOT BOIL THE FRUIT!!!!

Keep simmering the fruit over lowish heat until it is transparent and a dark pinkish golden brown. The "juice" should be almost honey like in consistency and there won't be a ton of it (this step takes forever but don't give into the temptation to turn up the heat). Give it a taste and if it's too sweet for you add in a teaspoon or more of lemon juice, on second thought the little bit of acidity is nice so why don't you go ahead and add the lemon juice anyway.

In the meantime you have by now realized that you don't have enough jars so you have made a quick run to the store for more, cajoled someone-in this case Big Daddy D-to unload the dishwasher, and then loaded the dishwasher up with the new jars, lids, and bands and run the dishwasher on its STERILIZE setting* and are just waiting for everything to be ready.

Which could take a few hours I'll be honest. Those quince are something else but worth it.

Really truly!

Okay, the fruit is finally done, transparent and glossy like stained glass and your jars are sterile.

Time to fill 'em up!

Place your jars on a clean dish towel next to the stove/pot but leave the lids and bands in the hot steamy dishwasher.

Spoon the hot quince into the hot jars, leaving about 1/4-1/2 inch clearance at the top and when the fruit is gone pour any juice left over the fruit-use your best judgement about which jar needs what. Place the hot lids on the still hot jars, put the bands on and just hand tighten them-don't go all crazy with that, you might break something-namely the jar and that would suck because you have worked so damn hard to get to this point and there is NO SALVAGING when broken glass is involved.

Where were we?

Right.

If you know you'll be eating these preserves up within a couple of months* then just turn the jars over on your dishtowel and listen for the eventual *POP* as the seal is made, let the jars cool down completely(this could take a day so be prepared) then turn them back over and check that the proper seal has been made and store them in a cool dark cupboard. If the seal hasn't been made you have a couple of choices. The first is to just put the jars that didn't seal into the fridge and eat them all up in a couple of weeks. The second option is to put the jars(with the lid and band still on)(I figure you probably already knew that but it almost never hurts to say stuff like that again) into a deep pot and cover with at least an inch of water and then bring it all to a boil and continue to process the preserves for about 15-20 minutes. Carefully lift the hot jars from the water and set aside to cool down. You should hear the *POP* this time for sure.

If you don't hear the *POP* this time then your preserves are letting you know that it is time to make some biscuits and get the butter out.

Which is of course the best way to enjoy MAWMAW'S PEAR PRESERVES! Some sausage links would be tasty too.

Makes about 40 ounces of preserves. I ended up with 10 4oz jars this time and I'll try for that much again next time.

After reading this convoluted "recipe/technique" you are probably no longer wondering why MawMaw's preserves have been a mystery for the past 70 years. I am a sucker for this stuff though and have to spread the love that comes from recreating old memories and making new ones.

*If your dishwasher doesn't have a sterilize setting or you don't have a dishwasher at all, just boil the heck out of your jars, lids and bands.

*Oh, do the hot water processing anyway if you are making enough preserves to last for months and months and months-I probably should have mentioned that earlier...