Sunday, November 23, 2008

mice and men

We are sitting here, snuggling, watching "the Nutcracker". The Baby(the 3yr soon to be 4 but that takes too long to type so I hereby dub her The Baby, or Baby for short) and I. Not Big Daddy cause he's out with a friend watching "Quantum of Solace", and not with the B(the almost 16yr old) cause she is now playing her new Pokemon Emerald game. What's really great about this (and it is great!) is that we are watching the Pacific Northwest Ballet's production/movie with the sets done by Maurice Sendak of "Where the Wild Things Are" fame. It is stunning and intense-fraught with tension and the thrill of a girl on the cusp of young womanhood caught in a dream with only the vaguest ideas and notions of what lies ahead. Definitely not Disney or Barbie or some other diluted cartoon. Baby is watching, enthralled by the dancing, the costumes, the sets and maybe even the music. B is sneaking glances when whe thinks I am not looking, and together we watch as Clara defeats the Mouse King and takes off with the Nutcracker Prince to a magical land full of Delights. We(B and I) were lucky enough to get a VHS copy of this 14 years ago, second hand as the movie was filmed in 1985 I believe. She and I watched this movie often, sometimes 2 or 3 times in a row, usually with her snuggled in her "nest" as she liked to call my lap. Whoa!!! Baby and I just had an unpleasant moment when she put her head in my face and we had to decide who went where. But that's real life, not the soft fuzzy pink picture I am trying to paint here. Anyway, there is something wonderful about sharing this movie, this experience with both my girls, seeing their differences and their similarities. For example, Baby here does not want to sit in my lap, only beside me and she sure as heck has no stillness in her- unlike B who, like, me can sit for hours hardly moving except to go to the bathroom. And to be able to talk with B about her thoughts and feelings watching this movie now is wonderful, and looking forward to talking with Baby in 12 years about these very moments helps me keep on trucking along. Btw we seem to have embarked on a mini marathon of The Nutcracker since Fantasia has found its way into the player. B and I have watched this movie together many times during the past 14 years as well and had the pleasure of sharing this movie with our Maggie,now gone. Oh how I long for Maggie and ache to have her in my lap and....but more on that another day. I am suddenly a raw open wound and need a cuddle with Baby who is finally still and warm and sweet at my side.

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