Tomorrow's the day.
We took pink flowers to her grave Friday, Maggie's birthday.
Can't pretend it doesn't hurt, that I am not thinking of her, missing her.
Moody, crying, eating too much, drinking too much, laughing too loud.
My throat hurts, my chest aches, parts of my body are numb.
Deep breaths don't seem to be making it all the way in.
I hold my breath, afraid I'll scream with every exhale.
Another day or two.
Grief will fade to the background.
I know it.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
All out of words, at least for the moment
I just want to say how much I love second breakfast!
I found out what to do with those tomatoes that you buy super green to fry, but then you don't do it right away and then the tomatoes start turning pink so you will never have good fried green tomatoes with them so then you let them get all the way ripe but hesitate to do anything with them because you know as well as I that they just won't taste that good. So you slice them and put them in a non-stick pan sizzling with the smidgiest bit of oil and caramelize them on each side and then and only then sprinkle your fried tomatoes with salt and pepper and eat them with a toasted and buttered english muffin! Transformation! And that was second breakfast!
If you want to know what else is going on with me today you can find out by checking out the following blogs and then reading my comments in which I exhaust my creative writing for the day-so far anyway.
I found out what to do with those tomatoes that you buy super green to fry, but then you don't do it right away and then the tomatoes start turning pink so you will never have good fried green tomatoes with them so then you let them get all the way ripe but hesitate to do anything with them because you know as well as I that they just won't taste that good. So you slice them and put them in a non-stick pan sizzling with the smidgiest bit of oil and caramelize them on each side and then and only then sprinkle your fried tomatoes with salt and pepper and eat them with a toasted and buttered english muffin! Transformation! And that was second breakfast!
If you want to know what else is going on with me today you can find out by checking out the following blogs and then reading my comments in which I exhaust my creative writing for the day-so far anyway.
A Once And Future Chef???, and tangobaby ( this one has comment moderation on so you will probably have to wait awhile-annoying I know but she has her reasons.)
Ta Ta for now!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
What I had for supper
So I had a cold.
I say had because the cold- for the most part- is gone. I am ever thankful for the hearty constitution that is the legacy of my peasant and Native American ancestors-though it does seem to have bypassed my back. Oh well, can't win them all.
As I mentioned yesterday, I am brilliant and had the foresight a while back to put some easily warmed up meals in the freezer(as well as that wonderful loaf of bread). And since I was a sicky and didn't really want to cook, I pulled the most delicious and hearty soup from the freezer.
This is a recipe from Africa adapted to my taste and I am surprised that it is not a staple of Southern cooking as so much of that is heavily influenced by the foods and cooking techniques brought to the Americas by slaves so long ago. Anyway, I'm not here to give culinary history lessons-though it is a fascinating subject-but to share a wonderful and deliciously different soup that is very economical to make and very satisfying to all your senses( yes, even hearing since the "Mmmm, that's good!", "I love this soup!", "Can you make that soup again Mom?" etc...are definitely a delight to my ears!) I write my recipes a little differently so please read through before starting and remember "mis en place" is a good cooks best friend!
Sweet Potato Soup
Heat in large stock pot or Dutch oven at medium to medium high:
2 T vegetable oil
Add:
1C onion chopped
1T garlic chopped
1T chili powder
1t kosher salt
1/2t cayenne pepper(optional but please try it!)
Saute until onions are almost transparent.
Add:
1/2C or about 3 average size carrots diced
1/2C or about 2 celery stalks-with the leaves!-diced
1 red bell pepper or one jar roasted red peppers diced (it is possible at my grocery to get a jar for $1.89 that contains about 3 whole peppers where as 1 "fresh" in produce can cost more than $2-get what you like as I've used both with excellent results)
2 C or about 1lb sweet potatoes peeled and diced
Continue to saute a couple of minutes.
Pour in:
4C chicken broth
This will deglaze the pot. Be prepared! Those spices will hit you right in the nose so take a step back if you're especially sensitive.
Stir in:
2C cooked shredded chicken (I almost always use leftover rotisserie chicken for this)
1 14.5 oz can diced tomatos-I like fire roasted myself
2/3C natural peanut butter( again, I use the store brand at about $2 a jar, please don't use one of those whipped hydrogenated types because it will make a big difference)
Bring soup up to a simmer and and keep it there about 30 minutes or until the veggies are tender. At this point you may want to add up to a tablespoon of sugar or even more salt, to your taste.
From beginning to end this should take maybe an hour with 30 minutes of active work. Broken down its about 15-20 minutes for prep, 10 minutes assemblage, and up to 30 minutes simmering.
Accompany this delicious soup with a nice crusty bread and dinner is served!
This recipe serves my family of 4, with enough left to freeze(up to about 3 months) and feed us all again. And, yes, even Baby loves it, cayenne and all!
Enjoy!
I say had because the cold- for the most part- is gone. I am ever thankful for the hearty constitution that is the legacy of my peasant and Native American ancestors-though it does seem to have bypassed my back. Oh well, can't win them all.
As I mentioned yesterday, I am brilliant and had the foresight a while back to put some easily warmed up meals in the freezer(as well as that wonderful loaf of bread). And since I was a sicky and didn't really want to cook, I pulled the most delicious and hearty soup from the freezer.
This is a recipe from Africa adapted to my taste and I am surprised that it is not a staple of Southern cooking as so much of that is heavily influenced by the foods and cooking techniques brought to the Americas by slaves so long ago. Anyway, I'm not here to give culinary history lessons-though it is a fascinating subject-but to share a wonderful and deliciously different soup that is very economical to make and very satisfying to all your senses( yes, even hearing since the "Mmmm, that's good!", "I love this soup!", "Can you make that soup again Mom?" etc...are definitely a delight to my ears!) I write my recipes a little differently so please read through before starting and remember "mis en place" is a good cooks best friend!
Sweet Potato Soup
Heat in large stock pot or Dutch oven at medium to medium high:
2 T vegetable oil
Add:
1C onion chopped
1T garlic chopped
1T chili powder
1t kosher salt
1/2t cayenne pepper(optional but please try it!)
Saute until onions are almost transparent.
Add:
1/2C or about 3 average size carrots diced
1/2C or about 2 celery stalks-with the leaves!-diced
1 red bell pepper or one jar roasted red peppers diced (it is possible at my grocery to get a jar for $1.89 that contains about 3 whole peppers where as 1 "fresh" in produce can cost more than $2-get what you like as I've used both with excellent results)
2 C or about 1lb sweet potatoes peeled and diced
Continue to saute a couple of minutes.
Pour in:
4C chicken broth
This will deglaze the pot. Be prepared! Those spices will hit you right in the nose so take a step back if you're especially sensitive.
Stir in:
2C cooked shredded chicken (I almost always use leftover rotisserie chicken for this)
1 14.5 oz can diced tomatos-I like fire roasted myself
2/3C natural peanut butter( again, I use the store brand at about $2 a jar, please don't use one of those whipped hydrogenated types because it will make a big difference)
Bring soup up to a simmer and and keep it there about 30 minutes or until the veggies are tender. At this point you may want to add up to a tablespoon of sugar or even more salt, to your taste.
From beginning to end this should take maybe an hour with 30 minutes of active work. Broken down its about 15-20 minutes for prep, 10 minutes assemblage, and up to 30 minutes simmering.
Accompany this delicious soup with a nice crusty bread and dinner is served!
This recipe serves my family of 4, with enough left to freeze(up to about 3 months) and feed us all again. And, yes, even Baby loves it, cayenne and all!
Enjoy!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Happiness for the Day
Happy Realization #1
Even when it is all dismal and grey and rainy outside, I can turn every light in the house on and have my own sunny day!
Happy Realization #2
When you are brilliant-as I am-you buy 2 loaves of bread at the grocery and put one in the freezer which means you don't have to actually go out on this dismal, grey, rainy day!
Happy Realization #3
Pretending you are Darth Vader when you have a head cold actually makes you feel better!
Even when it is all dismal and grey and rainy outside, I can turn every light in the house on and have my own sunny day!
Happy Realization #2
When you are brilliant-as I am-you buy 2 loaves of bread at the grocery and put one in the freezer which means you don't have to actually go out on this dismal, grey, rainy day!
Happy Realization #3
Pretending you are Darth Vader when you have a head cold actually makes you feel better!
Monday, January 5, 2009
What's in a name?
I can't help but notice that most people out in cyberspace have monikers that aren't their given names.
I can't help but notice that I do.
I think about this, pondering why in the many years since I ventured into cyberspace all of my vehicles have carried my given name.
Why have I never assumed another name?
Why do others?
I enjoy reading their appellations, imagining what each person was thinking and feeling as they named themselves in this limitless forum. Are they creating an alter ego? Hoping to become someone completely new and different in this uncharted land removed from their everyday life? Because there is power in a name, perhaps they are singling out a favorite part of themselves, naming it in the hope of becoming more of that aspect. Maybe as children they never liked the name chosen for them by others and finally have the chance to give themselves the name they always wanted. Maybe simple privacy concerns dictate their choices. Or are there more nefarious plots afoot? Could it be illicit activity, cyber affairs? Or could it be that choosing another name allows them to express themselves openly, free from the expectations and criticisms of their family and friends?
As I write this, I question once again my continued use of my given name.
I think I've never given myself another name for several reasons, the most important being that my imagination can't find a word or phrase that I feel expresses me to myself.
But I don't need imagination's favor in this after all.
I am Brook.
I am small and clear.
I babble.
I often follow the path of least resistance, yet wear down the boulders in my path.
I pick up silt and debris but can't carry it far, so leave it behind me.
Some days I am a trickle, and others a raging flood.
Shallow in some spots and surprisingly deep in others,
one could cross my path and never get wet or be swept away by the current.
I cherish my source yet always seek what lies just around the bend.
Unpredictable yet always true to my nature,
I am Brook
Mom,
You knew me before I could know myself
and gave me the gift of this Word that is Me,
Thank You
I can't help but notice that I do.
I think about this, pondering why in the many years since I ventured into cyberspace all of my vehicles have carried my given name.
Why have I never assumed another name?
Why do others?
I enjoy reading their appellations, imagining what each person was thinking and feeling as they named themselves in this limitless forum. Are they creating an alter ego? Hoping to become someone completely new and different in this uncharted land removed from their everyday life? Because there is power in a name, perhaps they are singling out a favorite part of themselves, naming it in the hope of becoming more of that aspect. Maybe as children they never liked the name chosen for them by others and finally have the chance to give themselves the name they always wanted. Maybe simple privacy concerns dictate their choices. Or are there more nefarious plots afoot? Could it be illicit activity, cyber affairs? Or could it be that choosing another name allows them to express themselves openly, free from the expectations and criticisms of their family and friends?
As I write this, I question once again my continued use of my given name.
I think I've never given myself another name for several reasons, the most important being that my imagination can't find a word or phrase that I feel expresses me to myself.
But I don't need imagination's favor in this after all.
I am Brook.
I am small and clear.
I babble.
I often follow the path of least resistance, yet wear down the boulders in my path.
I pick up silt and debris but can't carry it far, so leave it behind me.
Some days I am a trickle, and others a raging flood.
Shallow in some spots and surprisingly deep in others,
one could cross my path and never get wet or be swept away by the current.
I cherish my source yet always seek what lies just around the bend.
Unpredictable yet always true to my nature,
I am Brook
Mom,
You knew me before I could know myself
and gave me the gift of this Word that is Me,
Thank You
Saturday, January 3, 2009
What doesn't go together?
Naps and baths don't go together.
Ask me how I know that as I gasp and splutter to the surface.
We had company-beloved, much missed company to be sure-for the past three days. Entertaining is fun but can be exhausting and this time it left me glad I don't have a boy, or multiple young children.
Understand, I love-ABSOLUTELY LOVE-having company, and spend the night company is wonderful. Sometimes I wished we still lived in the days of weekend house parties because I so love it. You all may have figured out that I am a little crazy like that.
When the party's all over and everyone is gone I usually feel a great, quiet pride in myself for conducting the affair so well. Satisfied that everyone had a wonderful time, stimulating conversation, and delicious food. Tired but at the same time thrilled. Especially since the people I love to have visit and stay awhile are my very favorite and my best -to quote Lola of "Charlie and Lola" fame.
However, I forgot that I don't especially like small children.
No, that is not true, I like kids-I just don't like the noise and chaos that small children surround themselves in. Especially since kiddie chaos is expontially multiplied by a factor of at least 3 when more than one kiddie is present. I don't freak out or go ballistic, I just get wound really tight. Like a music box given one turn too many, you just know a tooth is gonna break(actually that has happened to me but that is another story).
Ask me how I know that as I gasp and splutter to the surface.
We had company-beloved, much missed company to be sure-for the past three days. Entertaining is fun but can be exhausting and this time it left me glad I don't have a boy, or multiple young children.
Understand, I love-ABSOLUTELY LOVE-having company, and spend the night company is wonderful. Sometimes I wished we still lived in the days of weekend house parties because I so love it. You all may have figured out that I am a little crazy like that.
When the party's all over and everyone is gone I usually feel a great, quiet pride in myself for conducting the affair so well. Satisfied that everyone had a wonderful time, stimulating conversation, and delicious food. Tired but at the same time thrilled. Especially since the people I love to have visit and stay awhile are my very favorite and my best -to quote Lola of "Charlie and Lola" fame.
However, I forgot that I don't especially like small children.
No, that is not true, I like kids-I just don't like the noise and chaos that small children surround themselves in. Especially since kiddie chaos is expontially multiplied by a factor of at least 3 when more than one kiddie is present. I don't freak out or go ballistic, I just get wound really tight. Like a music box given one turn too many, you just know a tooth is gonna break(actually that has happened to me but that is another story).
So, anyway...
Much visiting, a couple of weird movies, little kid screeches, footballs in the sink, driving winding roads guaranteed to cause carsickness,, running in "high heels"on wood floors, pushing cars at breakneck speeds up and down the hall, one dog scratched face and one bad boy bite on a little girl tummy later I decided to take a luxurious bath and relax.
It worked, I relaxed right to sleep.
Cough, splutter, gag, gack, hack.
Next time I'll just lay down for a nap.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
shhhhh I have a headache...
New Years Resolutions
Don't drink champagne anymore
Don't leave the other bottle of champagne in the freezer overnight
That's pretty much it, except for waiting out the hangover.
shhhhhh, I have a headache...
Don't drink champagne anymore
Don't leave the other bottle of champagne in the freezer overnight
That's pretty much it, except for waiting out the hangover.
shhhhhh, I have a headache...
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