Okay I'll tell you...

Believe it or not it is watermelon.

I cracked one open and found that one of the lobes looked almost exactly like a tongue.

Minion #1 took some pictures.

Minion #2 ate the "tongue" with delight.

I didn't eat anymore watermelon at all.

Guess

Sometimes I want to just throw everything away and start over from scratch.

Days where nothing satisfies and never will.

Moments are lost as you wonder "Who? What? Why? Where? When?"

I think that's what reincarnation must be for.

If I were a vegetable

I think I'd be a zucchini.

There are 760 students at The Kids elementary. We are the ONLY ones to walk to school*. It's less than 10 minutes. There are kids on our street who are "car riders". Those parents are running their car engines and ac longer than that. There are kids on our street who are bus riders. The bus ride to school is about 40 minutes, to home about 7. We were at our house when the bus let out at the top of the hill.

All of this works together to make the walk the best choice-though it is pretty friggin difficult still for me to get up that steep hill we live on-really for me it is the only choice, though she may ride the bus some days.

When I was a girl there were times we lived in town and walked to school. We rode the bus when we lived out in the country. The only time I was a "car rider" was when I went to high school 30 miles from where we lived.

Anyway, what is up with all this "car rider" stuff? I have to ferry them all around enough as it is, let 'em walk(with me of course-I need the exercise) or ride the bus.

*this could go on and on about lack of sidewalks, lazy people, ruining the environment, what's wrong with the world today, setting a good example for our kids, I used to walk 20 miles in the snow uphill both ways...you get the picture. I'll save all that for when I'm less hot and sweaty-or maybe never.

Do zombies sleep?
Do they dream?

I sleep.
I dream of zombies.

I wake up.
I don't sleep.

I lay still.
Foggy and fearful.

I remember the Perseid meteor shower.
Cocoon myself in a banket.

I lay on the back steps.
Fear forgotten.

I watch entranced.
Stars streak by in a rain of fire.

I hope for more.

Just one more blaze across the predawn sky.

I sleep.

Drift back to more pleasant dreams.

Dog farts are almost stinkier than husband farts.

Never let your hair dry most of the way wrapped in a towel.

When everything is done it's hard to do anything else.

Boogers. Everyone has them, the lucky ones have dogs who eat them.

Kipper is awesome.

The Kid has more clothes than I do.

I have the most shoes.

Dr Demento.

Sometimes, when you cut the tip off the ear of corn, the caterpillar falls out in two pieces.

Sometimes you find alot of pieces.

I found two moths fucking in my spoonful of milk and cereal.

Then the cereal-box and all-went into the trash.

Cats generally don't do well on walkies.

Laughter is an incredible aphrodisiac.

Venture Bros has come in quite handy.

I like lots and lots of pillows on the bed.

The weather here is actually pretty great.

Walking just a quarter mile with purpose is better than no walk at all.

Coffee is the bomb.

She oughta be in pictures

Seriously, how cute can one kid be?

I for some reason have very little motivation today.

There is a relatively short list of things I must do, an even shorter list of things I kinda want to do and yet I have no desire to do any of it.

I'm not sad or anything.

Not tired.

Just bored in the truest sense of the word.

Oooops.

Gotta get up and go pee.

Now that is one thing that can't be put off.

Not until I'm 90 and wearing a diaper anyway.

I gots me some of dem der shape up shoes t'other day.

I been warin em now fer 2 days.

I thenk theys broken cuz dangit my big ol butt is still heer.

Life without kids...

means it's way too easy to drink a wee bit too much wine

means it's way too hard to cook for just the two of us

means I can watch movies whenever I want: G, R, or X(not that I'm really that tempted)

means at least for a day or three no vanilla for me

means quiet

means I can laugh as loud as I want

means no kiddy messes

means sooooo much less laundry

means sooooo many less dishes

means home projects, painting

means long put off mini trips

means I anticipate sex on the couch way more than I thought I would

means no kid TV

means ME time

Life without kids means...

it means

it means

it means

....sorrow?

WTF!?!???!?!?!

Baby

My baby is in France.

She is having a great time and that is wonderful.

I confess to being just the hugely bit jealous though.

3's

Here I sit.

Wondering.

Who is going to complete this particular trifecta of death?

Who?