I think I played by the rules today.
Way Back When, Minion #1 was The Kid. And The Kid has a Cousin the same age as She. And they have an Auntie who is the Mother of Neither of Them. And said Auntie cares very much for the two Rascals and agrees to watch Them for a whole day even though it is the middle of Summer and She is VERY PREGNANT, so that I and the Cousin's Mother can go enjoy ourselves. We appreciate this very much as We are Both Single Mothers at the time with very little time to enjoy Ourselves Kidless alone, much less Together(my Cousin and I were The Original Them even before Way Back When) and figured Auntie could use the practice seeing as how She would soon be joining the Ranks of Mother Hood.
Auntie comes equipped with a backyard, a screen door and a box of 100 Freeze Pops.
Auntie allows Them to come and go through the screen door at Their own discretion(of which Kids have none) to cool off.
Auntie, who as I said earlier loves The Kids very much and doesn't want Them to suffer in The Heat of Summer, gives Them a Freeze Pop to cool Them off.
Auntie gives Them a Freeze Pop every time They come in.
Auntie is also, as I mentioned earlier, Very Pregnant which interferes with One's ability to think for very long about anything in particular as most of that thought is caught up in wondering about and waiting for The As Yet Unborn One. It's true-ask Anyone that has ever been Very Pregnant.
What this means is that before it is all over Auntie has given Them the entire box of 100 Freeze Pops and probably run up Her electric bill outrageously opening the freezer and The They have probably let hundred's of flies inside the house and out of The Heat of Summer. Auntie confesses to being a bit curious about why They are so Full of Energy and at the same time wondering why They never get hungry. Like I said, Very Pregnant People sometimes have this kind of reasoning impairment(I know I did).
Seeing as how I and My Cousin(The Original Them) had both been Very Pregnant ourselves and had had such a wonderful time, We understand how These Things Happen and it is No Big Deal, really. We depart Aunties house and leave with our respective Kid in tow and think no more about it.
Until the next day that is.
When My Kid SCREAMS in the bathroom a bloodcurdling cry that of course has Me running(one of the few times I've ever run anywhere)to see What The Heck Is Happening!
The Kid is standing over the toilet looking in the bowl at what She has just deposited there.
Apparently those 50 Freezer Pops have *uh hum* left their mark and helped Her make...
A GIANT RAINBOW POO.
21 comments:
AH, the fun of poo..I know it well. When my 2 big boys were littel -they loved Blue everything..nough said.
Amy-What is it with kids and poo I want to know(someone who will remain unnamed actually took pictures of her poo-why?)
Kids are enthralled by poo....but so are men. Although, technically men ARE kids...so I guess that makes sense. :-) :-)
Rainbow poo caused by 100 freeze pops.
100 FREEZE POPS? Holy cow!!!! :-)
Nej-you have a point there. And yes. 100 Freeze Pops. That dye doesn't break down when consumed in large quantities I guess.
Bahaha! Yes that will definitely do that to you. My husband drinks so much grape koolaid that his poo is occasionally purple.
I don't think I ever finished telling you the story about K-man's coworker who was so proud of a poo he made, he took a pic and used it for his screen saver. Some guys are really weird.
And commenting on spam - it was never a staple at our house as a child or an adult, but I do like it. It makes a great emergency protein/fat/calorie source in survival situations, too bad about the nitrates etc. There is always a can at the farm, and I try to keep some here for hurricane season. The month without electricity and grocery stores taught us a lot about what is great to have around.
ah rainbow poo, children and dogs are the best at pulling it off. my childhood dog ate the entire box of crayons once... it was hilarious :)
Cassie-I'd almost want to see a purple poo-but just almost.
Mom-I remember that story-but thank god I never saw the picture. Speaking of poo-the Kid lost a few pounds today I think. I was shocked that so much shit could come out of such a little body.
And Spam-exactly! It's not my first choice-not my second really but it serves it's purpose, is pretty tasty and lasts if not forever-then for a pretty long time in it's blue can.
mylittlebecky-I had these greyhounds 10 years back and those 2 dogs-the stuff they got into-including a brand new box of 96 crayons I had just given to the Kid. It was more than a rainbow!
Is it George Carlin that did a routine about giving his dog a bunch of rubber bands to eat...so that picking up the poo was easier?? :-)
Nej-It was George Carlin, but he was talking about feeding the dog condoms. I have reason to know *cough cough* that it just doesn't work. Too bad though.
Well....rubber bands...rubbers....I was close. (hehehe)
Is it bad that I'm really tempted to try this? ;-)
Lilu-It would sure as heck be funny. I just bought a big bag of freeze pops today at the grocery in honor of this post-only 36 pops though.
Love it! "Pokciscles make it better."
Don't forget, cupcakes with frosting have the same effect. :)
HD-Man, that neon frosting! I forgot all about that stuff. And most of the time popsicles do make it all better(until a grape juice one gets vomited all over the living room-I'm not doing that again)
Why is it that men are taking the rap, along with the kids about this, and so far, only women are talking and writing about it? And wanting to try an experiment? Just asking.
CEO(Monty!!!!!)-What an excellent point. Men and kids are perhaps simpler creatures and we complex women folk are wanting to get back to that basic state of being where nothing more than a colorful poo was needed to make our day. ;)
LMAO. I remember freeze pops, but I don't ever remember checking out my poo. Tempted = me.
Colby-Do it-and do share the the results of your experiment(no photos necessary =)
We'll give that a try this summer. The Force's blue frosting poo was a great start!
Oh, and PB totally almost took a picture of said blue poo, then proceeded to eat blue frosting cupcakes himself to see if it would work on him.
Well, it worked for me.
WG-exactly my point-well all these women's point really. That must have been some super blue frosting. The Kid(current)is determined to follow in her big sisters footsteps. Why did I buy those pops again?
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