Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

So, Baby wants to "borrow" a slice of bread, have a cookie or some blueberry pie. The kitchen is halfway cleaned up and B needs a ride home from her weekend get-a-way and Ashton Kutcher has a short neck. I apparently have no life because I have seen nearly 200 movies on someones list and I haven't done any laundry. And now I can add another movie to my list because TinkerBell is coming on and we will be watching that. While I don't fold laundry or wash dishes or straighten up. Not cause I'm a lazy bum, this time my back started spasming when I was loading the dishwasher and I decided to quit while I was ahead and be able to move on Monday. And maybe get back to work. We'll see!

Don't be afraid- it's easy really

Candy Sweet Potatoes
1 lb sweet potatoes,scrubbed peeled and cut into 2" chunks
vegetable oil for frying
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup corn syrup
1 1/2 tsp soy sauce

Timing is everything here.
Heat oil to 350 degrees and start frying potatoes. Immediately start cooking your sugar syrup in a medium size pot to about 300 degrees(this can take 20 minutes +/- and seems like it will never happen and then you go from 280 degrees to burnt in a blink so use a candy thermometer and then look at it often) stirring occasionally.
Hopefully your potatoes will be ready when the syrup is done because the syrup is a one off, it won't wait on the potatoes- which by this time should be golden brown and puffed. Remove potatoes from the oil and drain on paper towels. If your syrup isn't ready- KEEP THE OIL HOT- and briefly reintroduce the potatoes before stirring them into the syrup which you will have just removed from the heat. Quickly stir them to coat and pour them onto a plate that you have lightly greased and seperate the chunks some. These are best served hot along side a small bowl of cold water into which you dip your hot sugar potato to make it "crack" before you bite into it-and cool it off a bit too of course. Or just let them cool off a bit on their own-they will still have the crunch though they will have hardened together and be harder to seperate.
This dish is one we ate often the year we were in China. We ate it "family style" with chopsticks and that's the way we like it best but of course you can do whatever you like at your house.

Thanksgiving....

I wrote this earlier in the day and saved it without posting. I just reread it and decided to post it unchanged. It is a great picture to me(since I know how my mind works) of how a snarky for no reason thought, idea, or day segues into happiness and jollity and explains- at least for me- why most nights I go to bed happy.
Yeah, I'm thankful that it's over and that the in-laws brought plenty of wine. Everything was delicious and on time except the turkey. It is still delicious btw but I have discovered that I really do not like the convection feature of my bottom oven. Sure it roasted evenly but my small turkey(only 12lbs), brined and butterflied took about 45 minutes longer to cook than expected. That's a long time plus 20 minutes resting, for everything else to hold. So we ate all the fixin's then turkey and then pie. It worked out just fine but I really hate it when something like that happens. So I'll just have to go get another turkey and repeat the process with traditional baking feature to see what happened. We like turkey enough that it won't be a problem. I must say that brining the turkey overnight really improved the moisture/flavor of the breast meat. I mean the juices were coming out of the meat like they do with a super juicy steak and it was so tender you could just about cut it with a glance. And Derek and I were able to share for the first time one of our favorite dishes from China-candied sweet potatoes. Now I know you think you know about this but those ingenious Orientals have upped the ante on us poor Yanks. These sweet potatoes are cut into bite-size chunks that are deep fried to crispy golden perfection and then........dipped in a sugar syrup at hard crack stage so that you are basically eating something like a candy apple-not caramel mind you-crunching through that hard sugar crust into tender sweet potato still hot from the frying is a delight for the senses. I should add that this particular treat is not for the dentally challenged as biting into it can sometimes result in that "jolly rancher"-like fusion of molars that strikes fear in the heart of kids everywhere. The sweet was balanced by a delicious baked polenta chock full of caramelized onions that managed to be super crunchy(like fried cornbread for those of you familiar with that deep south delight) and remain creamy and delicious in the middle(like cheese grits ya'll!), add roasted red radishes-yes radishes, try it you'll love it- and brussel sprouts with fried out country ham chips and golden raisins, a super simple homemade cranberry sauce and turkey gravy and you have a well balanced meal in every way. Flavors, colors, textures, smells all complemented each other so well that the extra wait time for the turkey was hardley noticed(except by me of course). And lets not even go into the pies. Ok Ok, I'll tell you about the pies. Briana made her now famous pie, this year peach flavor and boy is it good, the ubiquitous pumpkin pie showed its scrumptious face- which was promptly eaten with cool-whip of course- though I am most thrilled with the pecan pie. Finally, after years of tinkering and some really good pies I have discovered, or maybe simply reinvented, the most wonderful of pecan pies and the true secret to pecan goodness and I am willing to share. Maybe. If you say please.

So now you know- if you didn't before- that my greatest pleasure in Thanksgiving is cooking. Some of the eating and a lot of the visiting but mostly the cooking. Having a dish come out better than ever and introducing new and delicious foods to friends and family, seeing the suprise and delight on their faces with that first tentative bite is what I am most thankful for.

Getting started

Cranberry sauce done, tea eggs done, pumkin pie done, pecan pie done, stuffed dates done, ambrosia done, herbed yogurt cheese done. Still need to get the onions caramelized, the turkey in the brine, and brussel sprouts and radishes cut and quartered, and a quick trip to the grocery for cool whip(how did I forget that?) and parmesan cheese and I'll be done for today, with very little to do tomorrow. Well, except for the housecleaning but I have people for that. Big Daddy D and B to be exact. I love Thanksgiving and I really wish my sister could have made it up. She and her family (of course they're her family, what-would she be with someone else's family? Sometimes the things we say don't make any sense ya know?) live in So. Florida and that's a long drive/expensive flight and it just didn't happen. Maybe they'll make it up to play in the snow at Christmas!

On a lighter note...

I have planned out my Thanksgiving dinner, obsessively made lists, modified recipes, written more lists, searched my pantry, made more lists, reread recipes, wrote another list, clipped coupons, wrote another list, read my lists and compiled the "master List". Let's just say I have some compulsion issues that are satisfied by all this list making. So......I just did my shopping for Thanksgiving and the following week and the grand total was, wait for it-$102!!!! Can you believe it? I couldn't. Occasional Compulsive Behavior can payoff! I am pleased as punch with myself and can't wait to get started on my timeline list! You know that's the one so you know when to start cooking everything so it's all ready at the same time....You guys do that right?
When you have a big company meal to prepare, you do that don't you?
Tell me you do that!
Just so you know I am only like this on special occasions-hence "Occasional Compulsive Behavior" moniker. So, I will be preparing 10 dishes, 5 of which I have never made before. I can do it, I have before , last year I had a 16 item menu that I prepared in someone elses kitchen some from recipes I had not even seen before.
Yeah, you read that right. 16.
And everything-I mean everything- was ready and on the table at 5. There's a story there but names would have to be changed including my own and well...I'll do my best to keep the peace. Anyway, you might think that's bragging and maybe it is a little but mostly it is venting and angst because though I have been preparing Thanksgiving meals or portions of them for 20+ years(I have been cooking full meals for a family of 8, including menu planning since I was 10, and started "helping when I was about 8) This will be only the second time that I will be preparing a Thanksgiving meal with my own menu, with my own stuff, in my own kitchen, and serving it when I want to. Finally! You will definitely think I am crazy now, but I only wish more people were coming to share my absolute favorite cooking holiday with me and my family. Wanna come?

Waves

Whoa! That smarted. Let me explain succintly about yesterday. 5 years less 7 weeks ago my third child, Maggie, died three days after her third birthday. Croup. No vaccine or antibiotic for it. We did take her to the doctor. He assured us that 99.99% of children survive and that we were doing everything right in taking care of her. That night she quit breathing. We were right there, did infant CPR and 911 responded within 12 minutes. They were able to resuscitate her body but she, our Maggie, was gone.

We found out the hard way not to count on percentages, to live every day as if it is your last and to let go so that you can go on.

So yesterday I was basking on the proverbial beach, soaking up the rays and enjoying the moment, when suddenly a tidal wave of grief broke over me.
It happens.
I just hold my breath, look for daylight and start swimming up.
I refuse to drown in grief, that does no honor to my Love.
I head for shore because I can't swim in grief, it does no honor to my Loves.
I walk in sunlight.
I love and laugh.
I live to honor my Loves.

mice and men

We are sitting here, snuggling, watching "the Nutcracker". The Baby(the 3yr soon to be 4 but that takes too long to type so I hereby dub her The Baby, or Baby for short) and I. Not Big Daddy cause he's out with a friend watching "Quantum of Solace", and not with the B(the almost 16yr old) cause she is now playing her new Pokemon Emerald game. What's really great about this (and it is great!) is that we are watching the Pacific Northwest Ballet's production/movie with the sets done by Maurice Sendak of "Where the Wild Things Are" fame. It is stunning and intense-fraught with tension and the thrill of a girl on the cusp of young womanhood caught in a dream with only the vaguest ideas and notions of what lies ahead. Definitely not Disney or Barbie or some other diluted cartoon. Baby is watching, enthralled by the dancing, the costumes, the sets and maybe even the music. B is sneaking glances when whe thinks I am not looking, and together we watch as Clara defeats the Mouse King and takes off with the Nutcracker Prince to a magical land full of Delights. We(B and I) were lucky enough to get a VHS copy of this 14 years ago, second hand as the movie was filmed in 1985 I believe. She and I watched this movie often, sometimes 2 or 3 times in a row, usually with her snuggled in her "nest" as she liked to call my lap. Whoa!!! Baby and I just had an unpleasant moment when she put her head in my face and we had to decide who went where. But that's real life, not the soft fuzzy pink picture I am trying to paint here. Anyway, there is something wonderful about sharing this movie, this experience with both my girls, seeing their differences and their similarities. For example, Baby here does not want to sit in my lap, only beside me and she sure as heck has no stillness in her- unlike B who, like, me can sit for hours hardly moving except to go to the bathroom. And to be able to talk with B about her thoughts and feelings watching this movie now is wonderful, and looking forward to talking with Baby in 12 years about these very moments helps me keep on trucking along. Btw we seem to have embarked on a mini marathon of The Nutcracker since Fantasia has found its way into the player. B and I have watched this movie together many times during the past 14 years as well and had the pleasure of sharing this movie with our Maggie,now gone. Oh how I long for Maggie and ache to have her in my lap and....but more on that another day. I am suddenly a raw open wound and need a cuddle with Baby who is finally still and warm and sweet at my side.