Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I think it's random Tuesday.

A turtle getting him some 'gator tail in the Everglades...

I hate when people refer to a woman's external sexual organ as her vagina. It's a vulva people, made up of her mons veneris, clitoral hood/clitoris, labia majora and labia minora. Vagina's are internal. You can't see more than the vaginal opening without a speculum(some medical problems aside). I don't think the paparazzi go around with gynecological equipment when they are taking pictures of celebrity crotches. Trying to be all smart and daring comes off better when the correct terminology is used.
So don't go telling anyone that you've had your vagina bedazzled(vajazzeled), it was just your mons veneris first denuded and then decorated with sparkles. I think your partner might complain about some genuine swarovski crystals glued into your vagina. Ouch.

In other news I pulled a real doozy on myself and ran the battery dead in my car. Apparently sitting in your car with the cd/radio blaring, headlights and fog lights on, charging your phone and the heater running for 40 minutes is a bad idea. Who knew?

The Kid recently told me that she's not ready to get old. I told her to join the club.

I've lost my new nose stud. I was washing my face and kerplop, right down the drain it went, so it's back to the ring for now.

The Big Girl picked out a beautiful dress for prom!

The house is clean

As much as I might like them to, 36DD bras are just not going to fit. When is Target going to start carrying 34F/34G bras?

I found the most awesome shoes for $18!!!!! No photo yet but trust me they are awesome and comfy.

I spilled tea down my shirt right between my boobs. So embarrassing as I dribbled shortly before I had to ask for a boost.

I, for the very first time ever last week, burned my hair and boar bristle brush with the blow dryer. I still have no idea how that happened.

There's plenty more random where this is coming from but my time is up so I'm outta here.

Oh wait, yesterday I heard an ad on the radio for electric cigarettes and was immediately stricken with the very strong desire to be holding one, or a real cigarette for that matter, in my hand. It was a minute or two before I could think of anything else. That urge just never really goes away does it?
Thought about it again today when popping a piece of gum into my mouth before I turned the key in the ignition(after the jump) and watching the lady in the car beside mine light up before turning the key in her ignition. Rituals are more than habits.


Lyvvie said...

I'm right there with you on the vulva issue! Viva La Vulva! It even sounds nicer to the ear than vagina. I think people would want to get to know a vulva but a vagina may cause suspicious. I always get the terms right, I teach my kids the right terms - none of this "my thingy" "front bum" or "Tinkle spot" or anything else that's not correct and proper. Screw you and your sensitivities and old lady niceties about decorum. It is what it is: Vulva!

Sassy tells me she doesn't want to grow up either. She also doesn't want her period which, judging by her blossoming A cup is not too far off.

Figleaves.com will have a bra for you. Trawl them regularly for sales. You'll know your favourite brands, they should have them. Big breasts need proper care and attention and to spend a little extra on their support is a good investment. It's an investment in you.

Now I want a cigarette, demon woman.

Brook said...

Lyvvie I think but am not for sure(Urban legend?)that I have heard tell of some poor girl named Vulva. Funny stuff aside this has become one of my biggest peeves. SERIOUSLY! I don't always say everything with the girls but damn if I'll let them go through life thinking that intercourse in the urethra will result in babies eventually (it has happened)(*shudders*)
My niece had boobs and "fur" for 2 years before her period. Really. She is a total tomboy so you can imagine what my sister has gone through.
Figleaves.com! I will surely check this site out. Currently the best fitting bras I have are Freya, but they are over a year old which even though I have several and rotate religiously*grin* will be old and worn out before too long. Those hard working gals don't last forever. I know you are well endowed like me and know what we are talking about. I can't stand the sensation of my own breasts touching my self. Apparently that is weird according to the bra burning hippies/natives of various countries out there but I would never ever burn mine or go without. I sleep in cami's with shelf bras for that very reason and if I wasn't convinced that 24-7 underwire bra wearing was bad for them, I wouldn't even let the girls out for good behavior. *still laughing at myself*
I too want a cigarette, somewhat reformed demon woman that I am.

Nej said...

I love random Tuesdays!! I never know what to comment to...there's so much!

Vulva much better than vagina...100%.

House is clean? Jealous!!!!

34F/34G? I used to respond to that by saying "I wish." After running on the treadmill every am for 3 months, there are days I wish I was an A...not a D. :-)

Must see shoe pictures!!!!!!!

Between the boobs is better than right over the middle. Nothing worse than looking like you're leaking tea. :-)

Brook said...

I love random Tuesdays-especially when I remember them. The house is no longer as clean as it was. Don't be too jealous. There are times I fantasize about being a B, that aside, I don't know how you run every morning but I admire your diligence! I do need to take pics of those shoes, and I will soon. Mostly right now I'm laughing at the thought of leaking tea. Like my chest is some kind of drink dispenser...left side is tea, right is espresso! HAHAHAHA!