What day is it again?

I've been blogging for over a year now. That's weird. Averaging four posts per week. Even weirder. I shoulda wrote a book. Or coulda wrote a book. A cheesy romance or a teen angst novel. A children's book or a recipe book. Urban fantasy or maybe even porn.

Instead I wrote life, lived it.

I will keep writing life and living it.

Good and bad, inane and profound.

Any way you look at it I seem to be unwilling to stop.

I'll be seeing ya.

What is this feeling
caring too much.
It is a lonely state.
I want to pull back
to stuff all of this back
down deep inside
into the dark
where I can't see
my heart bleeding
on these hooks
that have snagged me
from the sea of somnolence
I was drifting in.

Wish you were here...

I may have failed to mention that we have gone South for the holidays. Once again my trusty Subaru has carried us safely to sunny Fort Lauderdale-it's 5th such trip to the same destination this year. Crazy now that I think about it.

We are having a great time.

The beach.

The pool.

The food.

The family.

Oh yeah, I left the Christmas cards on the floor in the living room back up in Asheville. You will get them sometime...

Maybe Christmas in July?

Step One

Start with this big honking nose ring

And graduate to a sexy little sparkly stud like this
6 weeks Baby!

Calling for some cheese recommendations...

Seriously, what do you think would pair nicely with this whine?

In other news my Big Girl is seventeen this morning as of 9:04 am. Where has the time gone? I can almost see "empty nest syndrome" up ahead, lurking in the shadows just waiting to pounce on my not so unsuspecting head. On the other hand, I am beginning to look forward to the day when she will be out of my day to day hair, her room will be clean and possibly even stay that way for longer than an hour.

Oh oh oh!

I have a secret...Shhh

I'll tell you tomorrow...

Maybe.

=)

So you were wondering...

Where I hide the Christmas presents, weren't you?

After I bring them in from the car I mean.

Some people have tons of discipline and wrap them as they get them and store them away or put them under the tree.

Not me.

One of my first paying jobs was wrapping presents at the local Belks store over the holidays and I learned there that if you have all the supplies you need at hand that it is quite possible to wrap 20 presents in 45 minutes or so, so I just wait til I'm done shopping and have a one off wrapping session and shebang I am finished!

Not saying I have 20 presents to wrap.

Its more like a billion.

Seriously, I just went and looked and while my back was turned those things must have started breeding like rabbits.

NOOOOOOO.

I did NOT go out and do more shopping.

I didn't.

Nope.

It may have been someone who looks, acts, sounds, and smells like me- but it wasn't me.

Uh uh.

I swear!

."And just where are these presents multiplying?" you ask yet again.

Oh Right...I was going somewhere with this

Right here!

It looks just like the pile of bags for Goodwill that sometimes accumulates.

Every one's so used to seeing that they don't even wonder what's in the bag.

My brilliance knows no bounds!

*laughing at myself*

I love Mondays

I love roller coasters.
*LYING*

Pasta Carbonara

Bring water to boil in large pot.
Salt generously
Add in 12oz of pasta-I like linguine or fettuccine for this
Cook to desired doneness-I like al dente, about 7-8 minutes.

In small bowl combine
2 eggs beaten
2 tablespoons cream, or milk-whatever is fine
1/4-1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese

When noodles are done drain and place back in pan(turn the stove off please-the rest is all done with residual heat)
Pour the egg mixture over the pasta and toss til the pasta is glossy. If you need to loosen up the sauce add in some pasta water if you thought to save any or a little splash of cream or milk.

Here's the fun part

Toss in a handful or two of bacon bits/pieces from the ginormous bag you bought at Sam's awhile back and then stir in a couple of seeded and chopped cluster tomatoes that you bought last week and forgot about because you put them on top of the tangerines and they just blended in too well and you look over and say "CRAP! WHAT THE HECK CAN I DO WITH THESE CAUSE THEY'RE ABOUT TO GO BAD!" and that's why you decided to make Pasta Carbonara for lunch in the first place. Oh, and you and the French kid are the only ones who like tomatoes anyway and she is there because she slept late and your policy is if you sleep late in this house, tough titty, you get to stay home and scrub the bathroom the right way and maybe tomorrow when it's time to get up and someone goes to wake you up(2x) you'll get your butt up and get ready for school.
B only slept in once for the record.
I don't think M will do again either.

Sprinkle extra parmesan on top and enjoy your pasta!

FORGET THE SILLY SLIDESHOW

I spent hours creating a hilarious 6 second slideshow of my new grin and fuck all if Blogger won't upload it.

Fuck It!

Anyway, my skin is so fucking dried out from our recent blast of Arctic air and 30mph winds that I have had to resort to a tried and true remoisturizing method from my early childhood days.

You guessed it.

Vaseline.

All over my face.

Laugh all you want...

IT WORKS!

Dammit.

I was gonna take a picture of my non-shiny vaseline smeared self and my new big ass grin but fuck, it ain't gonna happen.

The fucking the battery is dying in my camera and I can't remember where I put the fucking charger either.

I hope you have a great weekend lined up, and before I forget...

Happy Fuckin' Friday Ya'll!

Word for the day

Discombobulated

This is your Christmas tree
This is your Christmas Tree on performance enhancing drugs

Actually this is what happens when you don't measure and go pick out a tree by yourself without the tall person that you normally use as a point of reference to help you dertermine whether something will be too big or too small or just right. This baby sucked up every strand of lights and every ornament and has a few hungry places that want more. I have not complied. Yet. I have yarn though, and patterns. I may crochet some snowflakes for those places. Yes. That sounds like a lovely idea.

In other news...

Yesterday sucked.

Today is better.

I get my braces off!

You may actually get to see a picture of me smiling!

Maybe.

OH, call me crazy.

Go ahead-it's okay.

We have ANOTHER TEENAGE GIRL in the house.

Yepper.

Her dad is an asshat.

That's all I'll say about that.

Cross your fingers for me/us.

It's shaping up to be one wild ride here at End of the Rainbow.

I'm sure to throw my hands up in the air and scream like a girl for parts of it!

=)

On my mind...

One of my most favorite books, definitely my favorite title.

Eating Fire, Tasting Blood

Just in case you were wondering.

Funk

Funk happens
Funk happens because
Funk happens because my
Funk happens because my spine
Funk happens because my spine and
Funk happens because my spine and my
Funk happens because my spine and my piriformis
Funk happens because my spine and my piriformis don't
Funk happens because my spine and my piriformis don't agree.

Because
Because my
Because my spine
Because my spine and
Because my spine and my
Because my spine and my piriformis
Because my spine and my piriformis don't
Because my spine and my piriformis don't agree
Because my spine and my piriformis don't agree funk
Because my spine and my piriformis don't agree funk happened.

All that to say that I have discovered that I can't pick up anything while bent over at the waist.
You know how you do when you are getting the wet things out of the washer and throwing them into the dryer?
I can't do that anymore.
Well I can but it is unwise and leads to extended down time.
I'm rather tired of down time believe it or not.
In the mean time others have been "helping" with the laundry.
Rather inconsistently as I have recently discovered.
So.
Funk happened.

I need to rewash the clothes in the washing machine.
PEE YEW!

DON'T NOBODY LOOK IN THE BACK OF MY CAR!

I was kind of tooting my own horn when I said I had completed my Christmas shopping in a two hour marathon yesterday.
I had.
Gotten everything on my list that is.
Now, though, I keep thinking of more fun stuff to buy everyone on my list.
So, actually it seems that rather like the first pee when you've been drinking the beer, yesterday's first shopping trip just broke the seal.
Someone is gonna have to take away my car keys, cash, debit card, credit card and checkbook and maybe sit on me a little bit too.
I WANNA SHOP!
(sung, of course, to "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister)