Thursday, April 30, 2009

TMI Thursday #6

At The Farm-my Mom is an artist too-though she will deny it.
Steaks at The Farm-I learned some of my best cooking from my Mom.

I got my best smiles from my Mom-and she gave me the dog I always wanted too.


My Mom gives me the best Christmas presents too-and Lord knows I am hard to please.


Today is my mommy's birthday.
Some days she is Mom.
Some days she is Mommy.
Today is one of those days, a day when I need my mommy.
I need a mommy hug, a mommy lap, a mommy cuddle.
What does she need?
I hope that knowing how much I love and need her still is enough.
And that a long distance snuggle is on its way to her.
I love you Mommy.
Happy Birthday.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sometimes




So I was tooling around the internet and there is a blog that I read oh, once every couple of months or so. Don't know why she is usually funny and not too morbid about being single and dating.
She lost her father(I know now why I read so randomly)a while back and she shares her feelings about that.
Recently a friend of hers lost her infant son-probably to SIDS.
I followed over to her blog.
And of course revived every vivid memory of Maggie's death.
I decided to lose myself in reading for a day or so.
Just to occupy my mind til I could catch my breath.
Today I'll make a pot roast, clip the dog's toe nails, get the celery I forgot at the grocery store.
I'll enjoy the sunshine and the birds singing their courting songs in my back yard.
I'll continue to plan my little garden and make the lists I love so much.
And I'll cry-cause sometimes I do that.
It's okay.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sometimes the IRS ain't all bad

I am going shopping.
For boots and flowers.
Belts and jeans too.
What else....
Oh-and a tattoo!
Yay for income tax returns!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Peach Sangria, just in time for the weekend!

I have a recipe to share today. This Peach Sangria is wonderful and not too sweet. I very much enjoyed the gallon I made during the first half of our Spring vacation. Trust me it is delicious.


Peach Sangria

Makes 1 gallon(very easily halved)


Combine in a gallon pitcher:


I jar peaches, chopped-reserve 2/3 cup of the liquid(I used Del Monte Orchard Select Peaches in light syrup)(Dear God do not use canned peaches with heavy syrup!)(If you are going to use fresh peaches, use 2 cups chopped-about 3-and macerate with 2/3 cup sugar for 30 minutes or so before you start assembling)
2 1/2 cups orange juice
4-6 limes juiced-about 1 to 1 1/2 cups
2 oz triple sec
2/3 cup peach schnapps or peach brandy
1 750ml bottle of dry rose-white zin is ok if you just need it sweeter



Stir and refrigerate at least 30 minutes to an hour.( I kept it in the fridge for 4 days and it was good to the last drop.)

Lime slices
Seltzer or club soda to serve



To serve pour 4-6 oz into a highball glass and top off with seltzer or club soda and a slice of lime. Give a little stir and drink up!


And how about a little slide show? In which Opal and Reepacheep wonder "Why the fuck are you taking our pictures so early?"
(Did you forget it's "Fucking Friday"?)

video

Thursday, April 23, 2009

TMI Thursday #5

TMI Thursday is here again, I know how you love it and I do so aim to please.
Read on my friends, read on...








As I sit here nursing a tequila headache, trying to run my fingers through my sex tangled hair I am reminded of a particularly fun evening Big Daddy D and I had in China.




Our tenure as adjunct professors was coming to an end at Northeast China Institute of Electric Power Engineering (OK, we were glorified ESL teachers-but hey-I was "teaching" post grad students at least!)(and that lovely tile facade you see there cost $1,000,000 US and they did zero improvements inside, as far as I know the paint is still peeling and flaking in the class rooms, the desks are 10 yrs older and still no heat or flush facilities)and after nearly a year in this lovely city just a few hours south of Siberia and fewer hours north of North Korea we had become quite the professionals when it came to putting our drink on.


Usually we stuck to liters of beer. Many many liters of beer. After all, you can't drink the water-and a 12oz can of soda cost 2-3x what a liter of the local pijiu did.


This freezing night we decided to go the Jilin Crystal Hotel for as close to a western meal as was possible to get and to hang out in the cushy bar far away from the hordes of non-English speaking people who never stopped staring at us.


As we sat there talking and laughing, looking forward to getting the hell out of Dodge we had a few drinks.


More than a few drinks.


A whole lot of drinks.


Mostly whiskey consumed by me.


Doubles.


Mostly gin consumed by Big Daddy D.


Doubles.


Drink for drink I kept up with the guy-and though he was close to 2 of me in those days(I was a wee bit smaller) I was holding my own.


We ended up with a whopping 400-500 yuan bar tab and were laughing like hyenas to have gotten so drunk on about 50 bucks as we stumbled our way out into the -40 degrees Fahrenheit night.


Catching a cab home was no problem as we were quite "famours" and little red taxis followed us around like flocks of ducklings in the hopes of being the one to drive the crazy lau wai back to the university.


We never really even had to tell them where we wanted to go though we always had fun trying.


The streets of Jilin City at this time of year were covered by at least a couple of feet packed snow and ice that was only occasionally littered sparingly with some kind of grit or gravel for traction.


Bumper cars for reals ya'll.


Usually it was a bit scary but when you are that wasted everything is pretty damn funny.


Even when you have to ask the cabbie-through pantomime-to pull over cause you gotta hurl and the car is slipping and sliding to a halt, it is funny as hell.


You have not seen anything til you have seen vomit steaming and melting its way through 2 ft of packed snow.


The cabbie and Big Daddy were chuckling it up like old pals and cracking jokes about women who can't hold their liquor.


Which is good cause I had to puke several more times before we hit campus.


The sight never got old.


Even the guy in the guard shack was laughing at me since he had the pleasure of catching the final installment of my performance art.


I was so very drunk I was feeling no pain and having a pretty good time in spite of my spewing and laughing at myself to boot.


We stumbled along, holding each other up on the way back to our lovely apartment where I brushed my teeth and we proceeded on to that most pleasant of past times-trying to break the bed.


The best part of this whole episode is that I woke up just drunk enough to still be feeling good the following morning-a feeling which lasted til lunch and the first of that days many beers.


Big Daddy D was not so fortunate.


In the end the joke was on him.


And I did laugh.


Loud.


Times have changed though and I need to get an aspirin.




Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Manifestation of Desire

I found my necklace!
I have been quietly despairing for weeks now, devastated by its loss.

The necklace I got in Shanghai.
It was in my chair.

What makes it very strange is that I got the chair after the pig disappeared.
So bizarre.

And why this morning was I compelled to lift the cushion and plunge my hand into the depths of this used barcalounger?
The shock and the joy I felt, still feel, upon pulling this necklace from that dark recess is better than any Christmas in recent memory.

My jade pig is once again where it should be!

I wear it to remember some of the happiest, carefree days of my life,

In the hope of having similar experiences in the future.

Wanting to have those feelings now, as I go about my everyday life,

Sometimes succeeding.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Vacation Part II or The Most Fun Family Time In Years

So I decided to wait til Thursday morning to color my hair which was a silly thing. I love it as usual but my decision set us back by more than a couple of hours. We ended up getting on the road around 11:30am-way late in my opinion. But Hey-the hair looks good, tell me the hair looks good!

We arrived in Farmville in 5 1/2 hours-pretty good time really and Tiffany met us with smiles and big hugs. I have to confess that I was more than a bit nervous about the initial meeting and well, much to my surprise(after a bit of awkwardness and believe it or not shyness on my part) we were talking like new friends. Our dogs for the most part decided that they were content to mostly ignore each other which if any of you have dogs is a very good thing indeed! Poor Red-my kitchen fish-was just happy to be out of the car. After playing on the playground to get rid of any excess energy we went and had some absolutely delicious pizza.

Now as many of you might now I am very short and have been accused of Hobbitude. Apparently the people at the pizza parlor are in on the joke because they brought me the tiniest draft beer I have ever seen. Really. I felt like hollering out "It comes in PINTS!" Which would have been very funny except after drinking the second tiniest draft beer in the world I could not talk straight. I hate to think what 2 pints would have done.

Moving on-Tiffany has a great apartment and wonderful taste and surprise surprise we have several pieces of furniture in common. I love that we have stuff in common-real stuff. and Tiffany's mom makes the comfiest quilts to sleep under. Truly.

The next day not so early but bright(the weather was gorgeous!) Tiffany and I gabbed a bit and she made some wonderful coffee(it was sooo good) for me and then drew a map of fun things to do for the day.

We pet baby chicks-I want some bantam chickens like you would not believe, played at the park, and went to Downtown Farmville for some snackage, strolling and shopping.

I am so sorry I did not have my camera in hand and forgot about my phone's picture taking abilities. Farmville has a lovely main street with lovely iron front buildings, cute boutiques, and nice antique stores. And the second biggest furniture store in the US(Tyson[no relation] Furniture store in Black Mountain NC is a bit bigger) takes up several historic buildings.

There is also a lovely bakery, JUST DESSERTS, where it is possible to get an eclair bigger than your head!


She did not manage to eat the whole thing and even though I helped we had to ask for a to go bag. Minion number 2 scored an ice cream cone that while smaller than the eclair still managed to be as big as her head. She too was unable to eat the whole thing.

Alas I also got the dogs a gourmet treat which ended up making both of them puke. Can't win them all. The treat did not come from the bakery in case you were wondering.

Ooh ooh-and I got to help Tiffany make the best brown sugar pies-she made 8! Let me tell you they are good-I ate a piece for breakfast each morning-except Sunday(that day I just picked at the pie on the counter-yes Tiffany that was me =).

And so Saturday rolled around as they are want to do and I was awake before 7. Why can I never sleep in? I want to but it rarely happens.

Anyway after a nice breakfast and chatter and Wonder Woman and thank god no more dog vomit it was time to get things going for the Barn dance. Tiffany is sly and PB a good accomplice because somehow they managed to sneak out to transport stuff-while we were watching-and we had intended to help out with that stuff.

Don't worry though-our chance came soon enough.

We arrived at the barn and help set up tables and chairs, sort and display silent auction items and generally do whatever we were told to do. That part was fun-I hate sitting around when people are doing stuff. Somewhere along the way I decided I needed to change clothes-I am all woman that way-and after a quickish run to take care of that and get our booze-the party was BYOB!-the real fun began. The BBQ was delicious, the band was awesome and there was some cool stuff in the silent auction. I volunteered to man the bake sale and had so much fun hawking sweets it is almost embarrassing to admit. I think I did a good job with it though. And Tiffany-she was a whirlwind-making sure things were getting done and running the auction. We were both so busy we had just enough time to nod at each other across the barn a few times.

I have to tell you I was surprised by a few things at this dance.

First-No one danced! Well, when Elaine showed up she and I danced. And then our respective husbands danced with us. There were some square dancers. And some of the little girls danced with their daddy's. I was shocked-especially since lots of people had had a beer or two.

A barn dance with no dancing. It was still fun though.

Second-I couldn't believe how many people simply abandoned their kids to the great outdoors. Granted it was a farm, out in the country but cars are cars and no one(except me and two other moms)seemed concerned about the kids playing when people started leaving! I am overprotective and I am the first to admit it but surely the majority of the parents there showed no concern over their children's well being.

Third-not a shocker really-I NEED ME SOME BOOTS! I thought I just wanted some but really, I need them.

The dance wound down with me and Elaine whispering secrets in the "parking lot" with our hubbies looking indulgently on.

We helped break down the tables and chairs and stuff-that part is a little foggy as I had been pouring whiskey in my coca cola most of the evening-and eventually headed back to our diggs.

The next morning we all managed to sleep later YAY! and after plenty of catching up and gossip we went to ummm, Charlies I think, for breakfast/brunch.

OH MY GOD! THAT PLACE HAS THE BEST WAFFLES AND FRESH WHIPPED CREAM! Not a big waffle fan ever, I waited to-my everlasting regret-til I was nearly full to acquire a freshly made half piece of heaven slathered with ambrosia.

Next time I will listen to Tiffany.

I will.

And believe.

And get whatever she says is good.

Cause even though she doesn't like PB&J with potato chips on it-she does know other things that are delicious.

Eventually we had to leave and so we did.

Big Daddy D with big smile because Tiffany was as cool or maybe even better than he remembered from college(that might have some thing to do with her not holding against him the pyramid sc(am)heme he tried to sell her on back then). The Kid clueless as ever, happily thinking that this 5 hour trip would culminate in our arrival once again at Tiffany's house.



Minion #1, sad to be leaving a place where minion duties were not enforced but happy to be heading home to friends and her computer.And me, tired, happy, and thinking that Tiffany is a wonderful person and that in real life too we could be friends.


And glad to be short because I can stretch my legs all the way out on a long car trip-take that tall people everywhere!
Who else is ready for a visit?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Vacation Part I


I am home!
Finally!
I mean that in the best way.
We have been away for 9 days.
Yes 9.
Okay it was 8 really but we were only here one day in the middle for Big Daddy D's court thing and to let the maids in(I love these people...love them!)
So our trip went a little something like this:
11 hour drive to sunny N. Florida arriving at 1am.
Sleep in.
A little nookie.
Sleep some more.
Scrounge for food.
Graham crackers-even stale-are good with coffee or milk depending on age and preference.
Oh Shit! I forgot dog food!
Give him a cracker too.
Get it in gear and drive 20 minutes to "town" for groceries and another 20 minutes for liquor.
Get back to the farm and wait for my mommy while Big Daddy scoots off for some fun family time with his brother and nephew.
Make a gallon of peach sangria.
Eat popcorn.
Hangout.
Forget about Internet unless Big Daddy D is online.
Fuck it, I am on vacation.
Piddle fart.
I am on vacation.
Drink sangria.
Watch the dogs playing together and later realize they stink because dogs think horse piss is the best perfume in the world.
(go to brother-in-laws for a super fun filled Easter get together and egg hunt while drinking whiskey out of the empty beer bottle so no one will know that only booze goggles will make this fun)
Go shopping with Mommy-she buys me great stuff-and the other people get some doolollies too.
Do this for 4 days.
I had lots of fun and rest and piddling and sangria.
The kids did too-minus the sangria of course.
Pile in the car for another 10+ hour drive.
You know what happened in the middle.
Tune in tomorrow for Vacation Part II.
It is the best part!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Don't Touch the Butt!



(whoops I forgot to flip the photo, oh well)
Big Daddy D and I went to PF Changs again-without the fam this time-to...well celebrate is not the right word...but anyway, yesterday was Big Daddy D's day in court, to officially declare bankruptcy and last night he wanted to have some pleasant memories to supercede the unpleasant ones.


I believe we were successful.


Don't tell anyone but I think he's gonna have a headache today-shhhh.


I got everything on my list done and a couple of extras too.


Everything except color my hair anyway.


Gonna get right on it.


And I can send MapQuest directions right to my phone!


How awesome huh?


No need to hook my laptop to the printer and worry about losing a page!


It's there-and with a link too!


Super sweet!


I love technology.


And sex.


I love sex.


And coffee.


Some days I love coffee even more than sex.


I am not sure if today is one of those days.


I do need more coffee though.


Hmmm.


Everyone is asleep still.


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A quick update

We went on vacation.
We stayed at my mom's little 5 acre horse farm in North Florida.
I took my computer.
Big Daddy D hogged the internet connection.
I made and then drank(over 4 days)a gallon of peach sangria.
I relaxed.
Big Daddy D suffered a few disappointments(all his family related-his story to tell)
I of course was on my period(Big Daddy D was disappointed about that too)(But for some reason every vacation we schedule I end dup on my period so he should expect that by now)
It was a long ass drive.
I have a shit load of stuff to do today cause...
We are going on more vacation tomorrow!
This one will be fun cause we are going to Tiffany's and a Barn Dance!
I have so much to say but these pesky chores are winning out.
I'll fill in the blanks later.
Ta Ta for now...

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Too Late for Second Thoughts



Here is one that falls into the TMI category for sure, just not in the way you may be expecting.


I have noticed while reading many of the undeniably hilarious TMI posts of many of the bloggers out here that a large portion of these people are a bit younger than me and largely childless.


There may be some of you who might need just a little more info, a picture of how your life will change with the advent of children, before you quit straddling that fence and jump on someones "uh hum"bandwagon.




If remaining child free is a conscious decision on your part, I commend you for making a plan and sticking to it.



I know that you-just like me-are aware of the herd effect when it comes to visiting the restroom in public when you are hanging out with the girls, but have you considered the full time potty pal you will acquire in the guise of your beloved baby?

Here's a little frontline footage to help your decision making process...







video


If you hear a small clicking sound is my little doggie who also can't resist a good bathroom moment.

And here's a pic showing why Mommy drinks:

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Wednesday

Nej had a post a couple of days ago that I replied the following to and then I decided to indulge my inner smartass and cut the main part of my response and post it here.

Oh yeah, I am an evil smartass! ; )



(follow the link to find out Nej's side of the story)



1)I love banana bread(nuts or no)and have NEVER thought to put peanut butter on it. Soonest.

2) After years of aggravation I just put it on the damn holder-though as a former industry insider, over if you do the 'V' fold, under otherwise.

3)I hate lobster. Gag.

4)Low key, no speed, no hills, tooling around on a bike is I think the only way to go.

5)All doors open-always. Except bathroom and closet at night-then I can't sleep.

6)Never kayaked though I do have funny story(go figure) and never experienced really deep water-but I am not going to think too hard about it right now.

7)PB&J with potato chips-is there any other way?

8)Crunchy soft foods. Hmmm. I love pears(one of the few) and fruit in general. Though these fucking braces make it impossible to actually bite into fruit and enjoy it.

9)I too am a right side walker, though I am currently on left side of Kid due to shoulder(she pulls like a frickin fiend)

10)No where close. No keys worn off-I have a glimmer of something but wait...no, it's gone.(I remembered-the 5 yr old remote-not even close to a keyboard)

11)Numbers, OCD tendencies, ummm. Enough said.

12)Mowing lawn in decreasing squares, I thought that was how it's done? But now I have minions.



Nej you are wonderful and I can't wait to meet you IRL-you guys still heading East Coastish or did San Fransisco and Napa Valley take care of vacations for the year?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Meet Minion #1


So the Big Girl, aka Minion #1, recently incurred a $500 dollar texting bill.
Yes you read that correctly.
Between one month and the next, WHAMMO!
And as much as she tries, money is still not floating in the toilet when she gets up sooo...
She only thought I worked her before.

Folding laundry-minion duty

Loading the dishwasher-minion duty

Emptying the dishwasher-minion duty

Sorting recycling-minion duty
Taking recycling to curb-minion duty
Putting the Kids clothes away-minion duty

Straightening up the living room-minion duty

Dusting-minion duty

Countertops wiped-minion duty

Doggie door service-minion duty

Poop patrol-minion duty

Mowing the yard-minion duty

Supervise the Kids bath time-minion duty

Give the schmoopsie a bath-minion duty

Random babysitting-minion duty

Anything else I can fucking think of- up to and including getting me a glass of water with just 4 pieces of ice-minion duty


That's all I have to say about that.





In other news I made the absolutely most delicious wonderful awesome throw together simple supper in the history of throw together simple suppers.

I had initially planned a home style chinese supper but at the grocery decided I really wanted one of the rotisserie chickens and made an executive decision to put the pork on hold til supper tonight.

I had a nice bunch of fresh basil, pine nuts in the freezer, some parmesan and half a pound of fusilli.

I had a plan.
I had never made pesto before and so I began a cookbook and internet recipe search and settled on this pesto recipe from a blog I follow(she is a largely vegetarian/vegan cook/author and has some really wonderful ideas, but being an omnivore I look elsewhere for protein recipes).
I started chopping:
3 cloves of garlic
1/2 the basil(leaves only)
added and kept chopping:
1/2 of the 1/4 cup raw pine nuts
the rest of the basil
added and kept chopping:
the rest of the pine nuts
3/4 cup grated parmesan
and kept on chopping til I was chopped out.
Then I scooped this huge chopped fine pile into a bowl and started to cover it with olive oil.
My small stoveside bottle ran dry but I am a pantry stash girl so no worries, and went to my cupboard.
What the hell? It was bare.
I RAN OUT OF OLIVE OIL!
Enter random babysitting duties for Minion #1.
Out to the store and back in a flash I came to finish the pesto.
A taste revealed that it needed salt so I sprinkled on about 2 teaspoons of grey sea salt and gave it a stir.
The fusilli I broke into thirds before dumping it in the salted boiling water.
10 minutes later the pasta was done and dinner was served.

I barely stopped myself from devouring this when I remembered at the very last minute that a photo record of this awesomeness might be in order.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Monday!

I think I may come to love Mondays.
I used to dread them.
All weekend adult help with the kid, the house and all that.
Then BAM!

Monday the house is empty of all but me and one bored energetic kid.
Chaos surrounds me, TV blasts me with too much sound.
When will it end?
I just want to escape.

Yesterday I looked forward to Monday.
Today I love Monday.
The kid is at pre-k and Daddy takes her there.
I fix her lunch and out the door they go.

Quiet reigns.
I eat my breakfast in peace.
Enjoying each sip of my coffee.
Basking in the peace that surrounds me.

The kitchen is straightened.
Laundry is in process.
Pets are fed.
Beds are made.

She hasn't been gone an hour.
I don't pick her up for another 3 1/2.
Time stretches before me.
And I savour every minute.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

TMI Thursday #4

I wrote a really long TMI for today but realized that maybe with some things the statute of limitations never runs out, so I did this instead.


I like playing dress up.




But now my pretties are too big.




















You can't really tell from the pictures but it's true.

Do you know how hard it is to find a decent pair of chaps?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Is today April 1st?


That may be but what I am about to share is a really, for true, honest injun, it did happen, I swear! story.
Way back when the earth was young-you know the year that I was 12-we lived up the dirt road from my Grandaddy Tyson's farm in an old ramshackle farmhouse. This house was built in the days when clapboard really was clapboard and people used things like corn cobs for insulation. While we were laying on our beds we could see the sun shining through the joins in the wall-the house was that ramshackley and old. As a matter of fact when we first moved into this old house there was a hole big enough to jump through in the middle of the living room floor. Beggars can't be choosers and heck we kids were mostly young enough to think the place was really cool.
The yard was big, over an acre I'm sure, and wrapped all around by a pecan orchard on one side and a pasture and barn on the other. Let me tell you we had some of the best times of our young lives playing in that yard and up and down the dirt road.
This story centers around our pony-Teaser by name. My father, in an uncharacteristic fit of parental indulgence, had acquired for us this little sorrel stud pony. He was short and lazy and only a little bit mean and we loved him and played with him like he was a giant dog. He would follow us around the yard, beg us for treats and stand hipshot and slack lipped, tied to a tree for hours while we, in our childish ways, forgot that we were going to ride him and best of all, Teaser never held a grudge.
Teaser was a character and a greedier gut you never met. He would eat chicken-bones and all( KFC being his favorite), he loved cat food(we fed for a while about 20 cats at the back steps) and chewing tobacco. I can still see him licking and slobbering over that tobacco, smacking his lips as horses are want do. One time he even sucked up my chocolate shake from McDonalds(my very own having been purchased with my own money), slurped it right up through the straw, down to the last drop. I was pretty upset about that you can be sure, but in the end laughter won out cause really-I love a good story and how many of you can say your pony drank your chocolate shake-and through a straw no less?
One fine sunny Saturday we kids-there were 6 of us if you didn't know that already-decided that old Teaser needed himself a bath and we were just the group of intrepid volunteers for the job. Being way out in the country like we were, the water came from a well and even in the Deep South that water can be a mite bit cold. The way around that when wetting down a pony-or horse for that matter-is start off at the hooves and slowly work your way up their legs and sides, saving their neck and head for last. We soaked Teaser but good and poured on the shampoo. Oh the fun we had and lather we made, and I do believe that ole Teaser was enjoying the massage himself. Before too long the suds were red with good Georgia clay, and it was time for the rinse off. Since he was already wet we decided for the sake of efficiency we would just start at the top and work down with our rinsing efforts and we were feeling a bit pressed for time since clouds were looming on the horizon and a cool wind had started to blow.
Finally Teaser was clean and rinsed and looking as much like a drowned rat as is possible for a little brown horse to look, that wind blowing cold, the sun no longer sending it's warmth down to us. Now contrary to what some might have thought about the group of rapscallions that we were, it hurt our hearts to see our beloved standing there shivering and wet due to our zealous efforts.
We worried-what if Teaser got sick? It would be our fault and we didn't want that on our collective young conscience. We had to dry him off, but how? There weren't enough towels in the house for the job-well maybe there were but gosh-would we ever be in trouble for mucking them up with pony hair!
Hmmm.
Ah Hah!
A solution!
We would just use the blow dryer to quickly take care of our wet pony.
Wait a minute-there's no extension cord long enough!
Hmmm.
I know, let's just bring him inside!
Inside? He might slip on the linoleum!
We'll just lay some towels down for traction!(How quickly we forgot our earlier discussion about towel usage!)
Up the stairs we led Teaser, him picking his way gingerly across the wobbly wood porch, through the front door as we make a little towel path-much like a red carpet-for him to walk on.
Teaser doesn't flinch or blink an eye as we blow dried away, merely gazing about in a mildly interested way, taking in the dining room furniture, probably wondering what he had ever done in his little pony life to deserve this star treatment.
Eventually the blow dryer gave out-well before Teaser was dry-but our consciences were soothed we turned him around and led him back down the "red carpet" and outside.
We turned him loose in his pasture and I am sure you all can guess what happened next.
Yep! Right down he lay to roll and wriggle in the grass and stood up, covered in dry grass and dirt looking as pleased as punch to have finished with his grand adventure.
Now where were the grown-ups when all this was happening you might be compelled to ask?
Mom and Dad had taken alternating 12 on 12 off weekend shifts at some factory or other in order to make more money and still have someone at home when we kids were. What this really meant was that while one was at work the other was asleep and we kids had free run of the place on the weekends. So Terri(my stepmom) slept on unaware that a pony had been in the house, and never suspected a thing until we finally confessed years later, long after Teaser had moved on to greener pastures(really-he moved on, sold to a man who wanted to breed more little ponies when we finally outgrew him)
The top pic is of my sister Tracy riding Teaser who in a rare moment had put on a bit of speed.
The bottom pic is the spot Teaser was standing while getting his blowdry-if you look close you can just see the beadboard walls that we watched the sunlight filter through.